Fall off the horse, get right back on...

By the following day, I was already forming a plan in my mind as to the way forward.
My mind felt so positive and strong,
Back to basics, forget Ultra Running for a while. Let my body rest and ankle recover. Surgery if necessary, try a new support immediately. I would run again. Would run confidently and without fear (that was the worst part of THE race. the fear).
Start with short distances, 5k, 10k, see how it goes.
Immediate phone call to ankle consultant. Appointment made, scan awaits...
Meeting with new sponsor. Two new supports to try. The ones I had my eye on for some time...
As I pulled on the support I felt very apprehensive. Like wearing an open toes boot inside my trainers. Lace up and stap on, the try to fit within a shoe!
But it works. I does not put pressure upon my ankle. Does not force it where it does not want to go. And it feels surprisingly comfortable. So much so that I wore it for a full 12 hours solid as I walked around London City centre (reason why I was there is another story, for another day...).
Running felt good. Wearing the correct trainers, i.e. neutral and NOT supportive, combined with this support and I felt hope in a way that I had not for a while.
Time to put it to the test and attempt a 5k race next Sunday...

Commonwealth Post Mortem

Even before I finished the race I was performing a post portem within my mind. Where/ why did it go wrong.
There is a simple answer. Me - my pig headedness, stubborness and lack of money.
The first thing that the medic told me post race in the first aid tent after I collapsed was that I was wearing the wrong ankle support for my condition. She believed that it was causing me more problems that it was solving. Pushing the joint out of alignment and forcing it to try and preserve my already vulnerable ankle by collapsing.
Had I sought physio treatment for ankle and hip this would probably have been highlighted and I would have been advised to try other types of support. Much like the one I have had my eye on for several weeks but could not afford to buy, and did not want to take a risk do close to THE race.
A new era for Sandra is just about to begin.

The Commonwealth Championships

Where to start....
This was supposed to be THE race. The one where it all came together. Two years of preparation...
Didn't turn out quite as expected. Bit of an anti climax really, but huge and amazingly positive outcomes.
Physical and mental preparation going into this race easily surpassed any before. Rested, relaxed and enthusiastic. Training had been going well, only downfall being my hip niggle and significant ankle problems that have haunted me all year. Only had to hold together for one more race and then time to rest and get that long over due ankle operation.
Being part of the Scottish team and knowing so many people from other competing countries and organisational staff allowed me to truly feel at home all during the weekend in Keswick. So many friends and family there to support me was at times almost overwhelming. Even having the dogs there contributed to this amazing jigsaw puzzle of an experience. The full picture upon it being a big beaming and smiling Sandra!
Having someone there always to help and support me was extremely liberating and made me realise how important help and support is. How much of a difference it can make. I owe a great deal of gratitude to this person. I do not think words alone can express just how it felt to me. Contentment is hard to find, especially under stressful situations such as a race. I felt several waves of contentment during Keswick. Contentment even though it went so wrong. So far off plan. Time 10:22. Collapse at finish. Tears throughought. Scared to run. Fear of putting weight on my ankle. The one thing that I so wished would not let me down.... Did. Can I say that? Can I make that conclusion. Was it the ankle, or was it the mind?
I started the race cautiously, as I always do. Pace myself and allow my body to get into a good rythym by half way.
Food and drink worked well - no upset tums or discomfort. Notes taken for next time...
By 40k I was in trouble. Pain in my ankle that was intermittent, but very intense at its worst. Co-codamol was at the ready and quickly devoured (funny how personal medicinal taking ethics get thrown out the window when it suits..). Then pain went frombad to worse. Ankle started collapsing, giving way on tight bends and uneven surfaces. The tears started, then the panic set it. 60k to go on an ankle that could not take the pounding.
Everytime I passed the drinks station was hell. Seeing family and friend's faces. Them feeling my pain and not knowing what to do. I felt guilty. So guilty for what I was putting them through. I wanted to stop. Wanted to do the "correct sporting"thing. Save myself for another day, another race. Bu the Sandra determination and committment to persevere at all costs shone through. Some choice words from several people reminding me that this was not just any race. This was THE race.
I had to walk. Had to rest my ankle and rest my mind. Do not know how long I walked for, just had to. Broke many rules during the race (re outside assistance, moral support), but I don't think anyone would have disqualified me. Not when I was so far behind all the other runners.
I can feel as I write that I want to get this piece over with quickly. Short sentances, precise words. Not checking phrases, spelling,wording. Just ploughing on to the finish...
I did finish. And I collapsed as soon as I crossed the line. To much effort on body and mind. And apparently overdose of codeine tablets!

My own experience aside, there were some absolutely amazing perfomances during the actual race part of the race. Both male and female winners excelled themselves. Every time they passed me they looked so calm an composed. Strong and tactful running. Impressive to see and experience from the outside. Well done you all. Every who came, saw and conquered whatever battle they had within their mind. Ultra running at its best!!

World Championships: The Race

This time last week I was one hour into the run of my life.  One hour of my first World Championship race representing Great Britain, and already I was struggling badly.

I am sitting here with a delicious Leffe in a very special glass (acquired from Belgium) reflecting upon the race.

I finished in 8:58, 24^th female overall, 15^th European.  Way off my target, the result does not tell the story.   One hour into last week’s race and I was already revising my objective.  8:20 was not a reality, and to just finish was going to be a very tough challenge….

I felt very nervous in the hours before the race, nervous but also excited and confident that I had prepared well and was in good form.  I had some cramps in my stomach, but I dismissed them as nerves or possibly just one of the perils of being a female – very inconveniently my body had reminded me the day before of the fact that I am a female of child bearing age!

The start was very congested and completely disorganized as the start marshals tried to make us all reverse into the marathon runners, never a good idea and everyone was getting squashed like little sardines in a tin. 

The smells on the start were almost overpowering: personal odours; strong deodorants; muscle spray-ons; garlic sweat; bottom burps – it really is a weird place to be.  And if you have a good sense of smell you really do suffer!

And then we were off.  8pm local time, 7pm UK time.  The race had begun.

It took a while for me to get into my stride, dodging and diving between runners, trying to settle into my 100k pace.  I had a target of 8:20, which meant that each 5k should be around 25 minutes, 50 mins for 10k.  I reached the first 5k in 24 minutes and 45 seconds, 10k in just under 50 mins.  I passed Adrian and he confirmed my pacing, told me not to go any faster.  I was happy with that.

I started to feel more intense cramps in my stomach and knew that I would require a toilet break soon.  I was starting to think also of food to take on board and at the next stop I took a Freddo frog and bottle of High5.  Normally I would be taking water at this time, but I did not worry, thinking that it would be good to get some extra carbohydrates into my system as early as possible.  Mistake number 4 (I will explain 1,2 & 3 later). 

Within minutes my Freddo frog had left me and was destined to end his life drowning in High 5, somewhere in the Belgium countryside.

I did not panic and took some water at the next station.  Too early to worry…

The race itself was a 20k loop between two towns, Torhout and Lechtervelde, both towns enjoying party celebrations throughout the night – a carnival atmosphere being had by all.

As I ran through Torhout for the second time, something was wrong inside me.  The cramps were intensifying and I knew that I had to find the portaloo soon.  There were none.  I kept running; hoping to make the countryside, make the security of space and obscurity.  It did not happen.  I will spare you the details, but I do offer sincere apologise to the locals sitting on the park bench and I offer thanks to trees and thick bushes.

At the next stop I took on more isotonic drink, trying to replace the fluids and fuel so forcibly ejected from my body.  The cramps subsided a little and I got to think more of the race and enjoy the Belgium countryside. 

We passed delightful little bouncing lambs, numerous young foals and fields of cows.  The Belgium cows are amazing, they look like bulls due to their massive rumps.  Huge muscular hind legs and they are very long in body as well.  I wonder if they have been "designed" to produce the best rump steak?  I remember that I have my steak challenge ahead...

All along the route there were many locals outside their country houses, but not many offer words of encouragement.  They are just silent watchers.  

More isotonic drink at the next stop and determined optimism that I would replenish my body and get through this bad patch.

My body decided otherwise and ejected the isotonic drink.  I felt despair, it happened just as I entered Lechtervelde and right in front of the locals.  I continued running, but considered stopping.  Turning around, walking back to the last drinks station and Adrian.

And then the most amazing thing happened….

A little boy and little girl came running up to me, I think they were brother and sister.  The boy had his arm outstretched and nestled in his palm was a little bundle of mints.  He offered them up to me with such insistence that I could not say no.  I put them in my mouth and hoped for the best.  He then moved to my right hand side and his little sister came on my left with her arm also outstretched.  There was nothing in her palm and I did not understand at first what she was trying to do.  I hesitated and then reached out to touch her hand.  And she grabbed my hand, grabbed it with all her strength and held on.  As I ran she ran with me, holding my hand and grasping her teddy close to her body.  She was a beautiful little girl with dark features and long flowing hair.  Her face was so alight and she looked so happy.  She gave me something that I was in fear of losing.  She gave me hope and energy combined.  I think I stole some of her energy, although maybe not stole as she gave so freely.  It was an amazing moment running through the town and a memory that stuck with me for the rest of the race and beyond.

Renewed determination, I revised my objective.  Time did not matter in this race, I just had to finish and learn from the mistakes that I had made.  Learn from them in time for the Commonwealths.  It did not matter if it took me ten hours to get round.  I just had to do it.

I quickly tried to think of which foods could help me best.  I opted for Rego.  Liquid carbohydrate and protein combined and also my “comfort” bottle.  Mistake number 5 was to guzzle this bottle way too quickly…..

Back though Torhout, de-javu looking for that portaloo.  I didn’t even make it to the bushes.  I am so, so, sorry to anyone that had the misfortune of seeing the consequences of body rejecting food.  At least darkness offered some privacy!

Now I was worried.  Nowhere near halfway yet and I was in trouble.  I have never been here before and I did not know what to do. 

And so I asked for help.  I told Carolyn (a brilliant support manager and exceptional Ultra Athlete, still holding at least one World Record) what was happening and asked her what I could do.  Coca Cola and little bits of banana was her advice as she handed me some.  I do not like coca cola so to drink it is not the most pleasant experience.  I nibbled the banana and hoped for the best.

By now I was very aware that countryside toilets do not offer the same facilities that our homes do, no toilet paper or wet wipes.  I will spare you the details, but offer some advice.  If you are ever in the same situation do not use High 5 as an alternative, and do not do it in front of a feeding station!  To the Irish lady, whose name I did not get – thank you, you were my saving angel!

It took a while, but the coca cola and banana did help.  I stopped feeling sick, the cramps subsided and I started feeling some energy within my body.

For the next while, I drunk lots of coke and water, but found that I was stopping every half an hour to relieve my bladder.  I felt very dehydrated and probably was upon reflection as there are no electrolytes in coca cola; therefore my body was probably not absorbing most liquid efficiently.

I had some Nuun (electrolyte drink) and tried some muffins, they were yummy and a good alternative to carrot cake.

My hope to finish remained strong and this in return willed my body into a stronger response and I found that my running was strong and determined.

In the early part of the race I had a vision of me running the final lap through the town of Torhout with a Union Jack in one hand and a Saltire in the other.  I shared my vision with Adrian and he promised to help me make it happen.  I felt goose bumps as I thought of it, felt deep emotion within my body.

I spent much time within the race thinking of all my friends and family.  I remembered everyone’s pre race words and felt their spirits by my side, willing me on.  Different people and different words appearing in my mind on different stretches of the route -memories constantly being triggered by different stimuli.

My legs felt very strong, and my mind was focused and determined. 

I finally plucked up the courage to look at my watch and had the clarity of mind to work out what time I could anticipate to finish in.  I realized that I must have picked up the pace as my ETA was now around nine hours.  If I could really pull something out of the bag I might be able to make sub nine.  This realization spurred me on.  My last time check had me coming home in ten hours, now I could still make the Commonwealth Championship time (again as I have already gone sub nine on two previous occasions).

I was now going to complete my sixth 100k.  From six starts I would have six finishes – pretty good statistic.  Each one has given me something different, something to learn from to make me stronger, prepare me for September’s race.

I reached the second last feed station and saw both Adrian and Carolyn, felt their encouragement and took their advice.  5k to the last feed station and then only 2k after that.  Neither spoke of time to me, but I knew, and I knew that it was very close.

The 5k between feed stations was the longest 5k that I have ever run, it just went on and on.  My body felt strong, but it felt like the clock was moving faster than time itself and each stride was taking me further from my 9-hour target.  I barged through the final station, not daring to stop for anything.  Carolyn was ahead of me with both flags, the plan to hand them to me further down the road when there was no danger of them slowing me down or adding to my tiredness.  I gave chase after her, like dog chasing hare.  I was running after a World Champion and I was going to catch her….

We reached the town and I was given my treasures.  Union Jack in left hand, Saltire in right I flew through the town arms high above my head.  It was amazing and the pride in me was overwhelming.  I was flying and chasing the clock, it waited for me, felt like it stopped for me, helped me at the end.  I reached the finish.  8:58:12.

 

So what were my mistakes, where did I go wrong?  Food.   I did things differently and completely underestimated the affects:

Spaghetti Bolognese the night before – I reacted badly the following morning and throughout the day.   I chose to over rule my gut feeling not to eat it.  I did not want to create a scene, appear fussy and not trying to fit in.

Late lunch and accepting something I had not ordered because it was so late and I was panicking that I had to eat something.  Again my gut feeling told me no, and I chose to over rule it.

Cheap cereal (alternatives to what I know works for me) just before the race - trying to save money proving ineffective

I had also planned on wearing my ankle support from the start of the race, at the last minute I decided against that plan.  From 20k I was feeling intense pain and it collapsed several times before I put my ankle support on.  My right knee also caused me distress later in the race, giving way several times and I think this was due to the excessive strain when my ankle was hurting most or possibly related to the hip problem.

Plus there is also the fact that I had returned from China only days before the race

I have been dealing with a hip injury since March, and quit treatment in the lead up to the race purely because I could not afford it

And I discovered yesterday from a blood test, that I have been fighting a viral infection for some time, which could explain a lot of my flu like symptoms of late….

World Championships: The Opening Ceremony

It was over so quickly. 

The parade of athletes through the town and then each country's athletes individually introduced to the crowd.  Heather and I carried the flag together, proud to be carry the heart of a nation onto the stage.

A Scottish saltire was given to me by a good friend.  I draped the scarf around me as we walked to the Pasta Party and it stayed with me throughout the evening.  First and foremost I am British, but I am proud to be a Scotswoman.  I am the only Scottish person running at these Championships, I will run to make you all proud!

The pasta part was cool, I even managed a huge bowlful of pasta - unusual for someone who is not a fan of pasta!

I met more people from different countries, sharing experiences and hopes for the race.

I was even interviewed by the IAU, the worlds biggest ultra running organisation - bit like the IAAF I think, only for Ultra Running.  The interview will be posted on the website - wow!

Looking through all the teams and their best times, it is easy for me to feel extremely intimidated, feel as though I should not be here amongst these phenomenal athletes.

But, I remind myself that I am here on merit, I may not be the best but I have earned the right to run amongst these people.  I am only just starting out on my journey at this level, I have time to gradually improve it takes time and I have that.  I just need to be patient and realistic too.  This week is about experience, realising a dream and taking that forward to my next dream.

This morning my body feels weird.  I have rested in a way I have never before.  I slept for nearly nine hours!  Every part of me feels sluggish and heavy, but worried I am not.  My clever body is preserving itself for the biggest race of its life.  I know when the time comes that the energy will be there.  The pain I feel in ankle and hip will have subsided and body and mind will be strong.

I have prepared all my drinks and food for this evening.  There are nine hours to go....

World Championships Eve

I am finally in Belgium, relaxing and mentally preparing for tomorrow's race.  

The journey was long yesterday, Salisbury to Torhout - 9:15 am  - 8:30 pm before we reached our destination.  It was an exciting journey, met with many unexpected events, including a telephone interview with Scotland's biggest Sunday paper!

I do not feel nervous at the moment, but that will come.  The opening ceremony is in two hours time and I believe that it will be a phenomenally emotional event for me - perhaps when it really sinks in.  I will get to carry the flag of Great Britain, proudly carry it during the ceremony - it might be the moment of a life time.

I have met many of the other athletes, from many different countries and have been welcomed by all - even those that do no speak English.  There have been Germans, Hungarians, Mexicans, Australians, Canadians....

I have also been around the course (by car) and for the first time ever in a race, I have a pacing plan.  I have been discussing the race with Team Manager and Coach and seeking as much advice as possible - they are here to help me, and help me they most certainly are.

I feel like I am being treated as a princess by all around me, and this happening because of my love of running

HONG KONG 香港

WOW, what a day. 

It began with an early morning run round Shanghai nineteen hours earlier, progressed to an Audit of a multi national Company, confirmation of another business trip to a different continent and finally a midnight run around Hong Kong.

I am in awe of the opportunities that I am being given.

The run around Hong Kong was not planned.  Arrival at the hotel was late and the intention was to have a drink and do a little sight seeing.  I was going to attempt a very short run the following morning before departure from the hotel at 5:45 am.  Situation changed and I found myself spontaneously deciding to explore this city in the best way possible that I know – running!

I had no running clothes left, so had to improvise and run in alternative clothing.  I wonder if wonder bra would like me to advertise alternative uses of their merchandise….  Thank fully I did not receive any unwarranted attention due to the fact that I was running around a city in my underwear and a freebie cotton race t-shirt!  Oh the benefits of being not very well endowed!!  And to be honest I actually felt very safe running around the city.  My choice of clothing certainly did not restrict my fun.

The view of Hong Kong by night is breathtaking, amazing structures, buildings and symphony of magical lights everywhere.  They say it is a city that never sleeps at night.  I believe them.

I had experienced many bright lights in the areas of China already visited, but the comparison to the crisp, clear colours and contours of Hong Kong was phenomenal.  Lights combined with smog and poverty, versus lights in clean crisp air and wealth.

My mind was hazing as I was running, awe struck and the adrenalin pumping through my body contributing to the effect.  A week of virtually no sleep and a body still living in UK time I think I am living on adrenalin at the moment.  I will crash soon I know, perhaps on the long flight home tomorrow I will catch up and recovery will be swift.

I was running with camera in one hand, trying to take photographs as I ran through the city.  Reviewing them later on my computer I see that none are focused, they are all hazy and blurry due to the night-lights and inappropriate camera/ settings.  I do not mind.  These photos will be an everlasting memory of this once in a lifetime run.  The blurs, haziness and general haphazardness of this run will be etched in them forever. 

I ran erratically around the buildings, aiming for the harbour but wanting to take the long route to get there in order to absorb as much of Hong Kong as possible.

I found the path beside the Peak tram first - I would never have thought it possible to power a train up the steepness of this track.  I would love to ride this train, all the way to the top and experience the view of Hong Kong by day.  Next visit…

Following this path, very steep steps all the way down into Central, I picked up the Bank of China building and decided to use this as my base.  No matter where I was in the city I could look and see the white triangles and know that I could make it safely back to the hotel.  It was my beacon.

I do not know the names of any of the streets that I ran along, I ran back and forth, along streets, paths and bridges.  All the way to the harbour and the lights across the bay. 

I was disappointed to discover that the harbour has odours that are not very pleasant.  It seems some how inappropriate in such a clean and wealthy city.  I assume that the “Fragrant Harbour” translation for ‘Hong Kong” is not due to the smell that I experienced?

By the time I reached the harbour, humidity had taken affect and my clothes were adhered to my body, saturated in dampness.  Thank goodness for electrolyte drinks as I guzzled half one pint in a matter of seconds.

I remained in the harbour area for a few minutes, time to let my liquid fuel take affect and to daydream across the bay….

I felt the urge to speak to my friends and family.  I had my phone and spoke to several, wanting to share this moment with them, others I could not reach.

My next target was the large ICF Tower, the one where Christian Bale, AKA Batman jumped from in the Dark Knight.  (I had this very fact reiterated to me when we exited the train station only one hour earlier - I felt goose bumps at the time, emotion strong as I gazed open mouthed at the tower and its little companion tower with the same top.)

I wanted a photo of both ICF buildings, preferably both towers in one shot to show the comparison.

I did get the view, see the sight of both ICF towers, unfortunately my camera did not share the same clarity with which I enjoyed the experience!

I ran through a shopping mall, ran past the signs for every designer known to man I think.  I have heard of most, but never owned any of their clothes, or any of their accessories  Perhaps one day I will.  Perhaps one day I can walk in one of their shops and leave with a treasured possession.  Something that I will only ever wear or carry on the most special of occasions, a time in the future when I live like a princess.  Golly gosh, I think over tiredness is starting to kick in!

I ran past a line of the special red taxis, so symbolic of Hong Kong.  The same style taxi that helped us from station to hotel, and back again.

I headed for my white triangled building, my beacon for the return journey home to hotel and bed.  I did not want to go to bed, to end this evening, but I knew that if I continued to run tomorrow would be hard, I would be sleepy and near exhaustion.  I must get some sleep, must remember that I have a World Championship event to run in one week’s time.

Reaching the BOC building signified the start of my steep climb up the hill (of name I know not) and back to the hotel.  Running up the steep stairs beside the tram was tough.  Fatigue beginning to affect my legs, make them heavy and tight.

I ran past one “lady of the night”, the first that I have ever seen….  I felt sad when I saw her.  Sad that for her, and the job that she feels she must do.  And I feel sad for the people that pay her.

I make it back to the hotel.  My body feels so alive with the buzz, the energy of the city providing the charge.  I feel emotional for what I have just shared.

Sleep will not come easily for me tonight, I do not want to close my eyes and leave this place.