Where to start....
This was supposed to be THE race. The one where it all came together. Two years of preparation...
Didn't turn out quite as expected. Bit of an anti climax really, but huge and amazingly positive outcomes.
Physical and mental preparation going into this race easily surpassed any before. Rested, relaxed and enthusiastic. Training had been going well, only downfall being my hip niggle and significant ankle problems that have haunted me all year. Only had to hold together for one more race and then time to rest and get that long over due ankle operation.
Being part of the Scottish team and knowing so many people from other competing countries and organisational staff allowed me to truly feel at home all during the weekend in Keswick. So many friends and family there to support me was at times almost overwhelming. Even having the dogs there contributed to this amazing jigsaw puzzle of an experience. The full picture upon it being a big beaming and smiling Sandra!
Having someone there always to help and support me was extremely liberating and made me realise how important help and support is. How much of a difference it can make. I owe a great deal of gratitude to this person. I do not think words alone can express just how it felt to me. Contentment is hard to find, especially under stressful situations such as a race. I felt several waves of contentment during Keswick. Contentment even though it went so wrong. So far off plan. Time 10:22. Collapse at finish. Tears throughought. Scared to run. Fear of putting weight on my ankle. The one thing that I so wished would not let me down.... Did. Can I say that? Can I make that conclusion. Was it the ankle, or was it the mind?
I started the race cautiously, as I always do. Pace myself and allow my body to get into a good rythym by half way.
Food and drink worked well - no upset tums or discomfort. Notes taken for next time...
By 40k I was in trouble. Pain in my ankle that was intermittent, but very intense at its worst. Co-codamol was at the ready and quickly devoured (funny how personal medicinal taking ethics get thrown out the window when it suits..). Then pain went frombad to worse. Ankle started collapsing, giving way on tight bends and uneven surfaces. The tears started, then the panic set it. 60k to go on an ankle that could not take the pounding.
Everytime I passed the drinks station was hell. Seeing family and friend's faces. Them feeling my pain and not knowing what to do. I felt guilty. So guilty for what I was putting them through. I wanted to stop. Wanted to do the "correct sporting"thing. Save myself for another day, another race. Bu the Sandra determination and committment to persevere at all costs shone through. Some choice words from several people reminding me that this was not just any race. This was THE race.
I had to walk. Had to rest my ankle and rest my mind. Do not know how long I walked for, just had to. Broke many rules during the race (re outside assistance, moral support), but I don't think anyone would have disqualified me. Not when I was so far behind all the other runners.
I can feel as I write that I want to get this piece over with quickly. Short sentances, precise words. Not checking phrases, spelling,wording. Just ploughing on to the finish...
I did finish. And I collapsed as soon as I crossed the line. To much effort on body and mind. And apparently overdose of codeine tablets!
This was supposed to be THE race. The one where it all came together. Two years of preparation...
Didn't turn out quite as expected. Bit of an anti climax really, but huge and amazingly positive outcomes.
Physical and mental preparation going into this race easily surpassed any before. Rested, relaxed and enthusiastic. Training had been going well, only downfall being my hip niggle and significant ankle problems that have haunted me all year. Only had to hold together for one more race and then time to rest and get that long over due ankle operation.
Being part of the Scottish team and knowing so many people from other competing countries and organisational staff allowed me to truly feel at home all during the weekend in Keswick. So many friends and family there to support me was at times almost overwhelming. Even having the dogs there contributed to this amazing jigsaw puzzle of an experience. The full picture upon it being a big beaming and smiling Sandra!
Having someone there always to help and support me was extremely liberating and made me realise how important help and support is. How much of a difference it can make. I owe a great deal of gratitude to this person. I do not think words alone can express just how it felt to me. Contentment is hard to find, especially under stressful situations such as a race. I felt several waves of contentment during Keswick. Contentment even though it went so wrong. So far off plan. Time 10:22. Collapse at finish. Tears throughought. Scared to run. Fear of putting weight on my ankle. The one thing that I so wished would not let me down.... Did. Can I say that? Can I make that conclusion. Was it the ankle, or was it the mind?
I started the race cautiously, as I always do. Pace myself and allow my body to get into a good rythym by half way.
Food and drink worked well - no upset tums or discomfort. Notes taken for next time...
By 40k I was in trouble. Pain in my ankle that was intermittent, but very intense at its worst. Co-codamol was at the ready and quickly devoured (funny how personal medicinal taking ethics get thrown out the window when it suits..). Then pain went frombad to worse. Ankle started collapsing, giving way on tight bends and uneven surfaces. The tears started, then the panic set it. 60k to go on an ankle that could not take the pounding.
Everytime I passed the drinks station was hell. Seeing family and friend's faces. Them feeling my pain and not knowing what to do. I felt guilty. So guilty for what I was putting them through. I wanted to stop. Wanted to do the "correct sporting"thing. Save myself for another day, another race. Bu the Sandra determination and committment to persevere at all costs shone through. Some choice words from several people reminding me that this was not just any race. This was THE race.
I had to walk. Had to rest my ankle and rest my mind. Do not know how long I walked for, just had to. Broke many rules during the race (re outside assistance, moral support), but I don't think anyone would have disqualified me. Not when I was so far behind all the other runners.
I can feel as I write that I want to get this piece over with quickly. Short sentances, precise words. Not checking phrases, spelling,wording. Just ploughing on to the finish...
I did finish. And I collapsed as soon as I crossed the line. To much effort on body and mind. And apparently overdose of codeine tablets!
My own experience aside, there were some absolutely amazing perfomances during the actual race part of the race. Both male and female winners excelled themselves. Every time they passed me they looked so calm an composed. Strong and tactful running. Impressive to see and experience from the outside. Well done you all. Every who came, saw and conquered whatever battle they had within their mind. Ultra running at its best!!
