The reality? Mostly I ran around London in agony, in fear and in tears.
However, there were some really good, happy and positive moments as well.
The atmosphere in London in the week leading up to it, and on “Marathon day” cannot be beaten. Everywhere you go there is a buzz and everyone feels a part of it, runners and spectators alike.
Memories of my time working and training in London came flooding back...
Seeing all the happy people achieving their dreams and goals.
It didn't rain like it said it would!
The man handing out Cadbury's Boost bars on the course.
Seeing the leading men as they ran in the opposite direction, just after Tower Bridge, awe inspiring moment.
I just love getting the goody bags at the Expo and at the finish, even though I don't really need a little pack of salt or men's toiletries.
And some of the bad....
Way too many runners who insist on cutting up other runners. I suffered on numerous occasions as did fellow runners. I saw and heard two people fall very heavily not long after the start. For one of them it was the end of his race, probably after months of serious training.
People who insist on wearing MP3 players.
Water bottles thrown under the feet of fellow runners – one runner directly in front of me twisted his ankle badly as a result.
The spectators that crossed directly in front of the runners, forcing them to run around or come to a complete standstill.
Some quite funny moments...
The runner who thought he was merely high 5'ing a spectator - the person who was actually offering Vaseline on their hands – to see him realise his error and try to get rid of the Vaseline did make me laugh.
People genuinely believing that the marathon had not been correctly measured as it differed from their Garmin reading.
The people in fancy dress, some were hysterical!
So, to the run itself. My run around the streets of London Town....
I was in considerable discomfort prior to the start, my ankle causing me problems for the past few weeks. I opted to wear my full brace support in preparation for the issues that I knew I would have later in the race. I had also opted to wear a larger size of my usual Gel Nimbus, to try and prevent the toe nail problems I have had of late.
After the initial bedlam when the gun went, and all the silly runners sprinted off the line, jumping in front of other runners and generally causing chaos, the first 6 miles were relatively comfortable. I was cruising along at a pace I knew I was capable of maintaining for a while. Having run more than 70 marathons and ultras I have a very good understanding of what my body can/ cannot do. I knew if I maintained that pace it would get tough, at which point I would decide whether to slow down and enjoy, or not.
The weather was a lot warmer than forecast and I was pleased that I had opted for sunglasses and not gloves and hat. I had also made a few other changes to my “normal” routine. Whether they played a part in what was to follow is something I will have to determine by process of elimination over the next few weeks.....
Not long after 7 miles I started feeling intense pain in both my left ankle and right foot, on the tarsometatarsal joint (where little toe joins foot). It became a problem to run freely as I couldn't decide which leg to limp upon! The pain coming from my right foot eventually won as it became more and more intense with each stride. I took advantage of a “comfort” break to loosen the laces on my left shoe to the point of being very slack, just to reduce the pressure and ease the pain. It worked and the pain became more manageable, either that or the pain in my ankle became so intense the right foot paled into insignificance...
Either way, the ankle pain got more and more intense and I knew I was in serious trouble. I have been there before and I will be there again. Time to forget any enjoyment for the rest of the run, now I would have to manage pain and fight the desire to stop and crawl into the nearest drain. Stopping was never a serious option, any other run possibly, but not in the London Marathon, anyway it was quicker to run to the finish than try to jump on a tube or other form of public transport. Ian and my friends would be waiting for me at the finish line and all the people tracking my run on-line would have been very worried if I stopped passing across all the tracking mats....
Yet again I found myself fearing my running future... Each step hurting more and more, no matter whether I went quicker or slower, it hurt. To go faster was not really an option as my motivation and desire to achieve happiness on this run was being ripped to shreds.
I had periods where I was able to forget the pain, seeing Traviss and Rachel on Tower Bridge was one such point, as was seeing Michelle just before half way. There were also numerous shout outs of my name, and I am sorry to those that I was not able to acknowledge.
Round about 16 miles, someone cut in front of me on a bend, causing me to deviate from my chosen path, and the ankle collapsed. Fortunately my chosen ankle brace prevented a more serious problem, I merely stumbled, and kept running, overcompensating on my right hand side, thus causing my “toe joint” problem to worsen.
En-route to Canary Wharf, and a fabulous site... The most delightful pint of Guinness waiting for me. Offered to me by Bryony and the Andover Athletics Club supporters, it provided temporary respite and I was able to smile for a little while after, hoping in desperation that the alcohol would provide me with a miracle cure, along with their words of support.
The miracle did not happen and I was soon back to managing an ankle that by now was frequently collapsing. I felt like I had been transported back to the doctors surgery, to that fateful day. I heard his words and felt his words. He was right. At this point my breathing became very erratic, I possibly even stopped breathing. Suddenly I was stationary and in danger of fainting. Just in front of the water station, I managed to hold myself together, grab a bottle and pour some cold water over my face and head. In danger of resorting to walking all the way to the finish, I fumbled to find something within my mind and body to help me. And then I remembered....
He was in fact wrong, I had conquered his defeatist attitude and had gone on to run a marathon within months of him telling me to the contrary. In actual fact I have now run in excess of 70 marathons and ultras. I have been a national champion, and I have run for Great Britain.
And there it was, the fighting spirit returned and I got back on track towards the finish. Thinking of Ian at the finish, all our friends. I also thought a lot about Kobi, remembered his “woo, woos” of delight every time he saw me. The times during Thames Trot 100 when he knew I was coming. I wished he was waiting for me at the finish, but he would not be. But I could still pretend, and run as if he was....
I dug deep, and kicked on. Hearing Nick shout my name, I was able to turn around and see him and Phoebe supporting from the sidelines. Remembered their happy news that we learned of on Friday. I then started thinking of so many friends and all that they do. Friends running today, others watching. I remembered all their words of support for all that I do and all that I try to do...
On another day, I would not have been jogging down Embankment, I would have been flying down there. Sadly not today, but I could still remember what it feels like...
Big Ben struck at 1pm, a delightful sound, but not quite enough this year to have me start running 6 minute miles. There was no spectacular “sprint” in the last few miles, just a determined stride to the finish and a final 100 metre dash for the line.
I crossed the line a very relieved person. As soon as I stopped my mind accepted just how painful my ankle actually was and it became a problem to weight bear upon it. I have become used to this and have perfected the art of limping... The only problem this time was that my right foot was also extremely painful, and it is very hard to limp on both legs. The hug and support from Alan on the finish line definitely did help!
Very emotional at the finish, for a number of reasons:
It hurt, I was in a lot of pain;
I had not achieved my objective of running for fun and for pleasure;
It may be my last ever London Marathon;
I may not make the start line of my hoped for “100k swan song”;
I could have stayed in bed, ran with the dogs and watched the marathon on television;
I fear that I know what is wrong with my ankle, and if I want a solution, I need further surgery.
However, although my objective was not achieved, there are several possible reasons why:
Twisting and turning on my ankle hurts it, I already know this, dodging runners causes huge discomfort;
I do not train on tarmac (oops, I kinda forgot that until reminded by Ian this morning...);
I wore a larger size of trainers for the first time in a marathon;
I have never worn a rigid brace with road shoes on a tarmac course of more than 10k;
The bus journey to London caused a lot of ankle pain;
The toe problem could have caused me to put excessive strain on my ankle;
At no point did I wear my trusted and dependable, best friend... Tubi-grip.
I now have a new plan to determine what I can do to manage the situation better... There are many options to investigate. Plus I have an amazing sponsor in Trion:Z. For years they have helped magically power me (and also the dogs) and they have recently introduced me to the world of Rehband. Next month I have a very important meeting with them,that has me very excited....
I am not going to give up yet on my 100k dream finale yet, but I will not start the race if there is a danger of me not finishing. I do not want another Keswick, unless it is brown and furry that is ;-)
