Sunday 17 March 2013

Finding and losing - what running gives me...


Today we found snow!!
I originally started writing this as a way of a public apology, but then my mind wandered around a little….

Today I did something that I am very ashamed and very embarrassed about.  Today I used bad language when I spoke to someone, very bad language….

He was unfortunately the person that happened to be there when I finally “lost it".


An accumulation of several historical incidents, a confusing past few months and physical pain - today was the day when I finally expressed my anger....
We also found this handsome chap...

I had already been running for several hours, was soaked through, freezing cold and in a lot of pain from a combination of toothache and ankle pain.
So what was his crime?  He had an off lead, out of control dog.  It was not aggressive but it quite blatantly was out of control and totally ignored him when he tried to call it.  I had gone way off the path to keep out of its way, it chased us and it jumped on Kroi as he tried to continue running and ignore it.

My words to him were “you should not let your dog off the lead if you cannot control it”, his words to me were that “this is a field for dogs and dogs to do whatever they wanted and I should run somewhere else if I did not like that”.  My response was “and I bet you don’t pick up its poo either” and then I used a bad word……

I then ran rather quickly after that as he was the sort of person that I would be very scared of if I met in the centre of the City… The sort of person that one could easily imagine carrying some sort of weapon and his face appearing on “Wanted” posters….

The ironic part of this story is that we were actually both trespassing – this field belongs to a farmer and is NOT for general public use, a fact that I will remember and opt for a different route in future.  This field is also the very place that I have so many problems with rude/ aggressive dogs and their owners.  It sits on the outskirts of a rather notorious Council Housing Estate….


Anyway, time to return to the “finding” part of today’s running adventures, too much negativity dealing with the rude Plonker…. 

And look!  We also found something high in the sky....
We found snow, we found fun and we found an ability to make decisions.  Running this morning helped me process some scenarios that I have been contemplating for a long while.  

For too long I have been trying to manage two “careers”, and failing in both (in my opinion).  

Today I made the decision that I never ever believed I would make.  Today I decided to prioritise my “working” career over my “fun” career.  It is a sad decision in many ways, but money does indeed make the world go around, dreams do not.  Today I switch off my dreams and deal with the reality of life.  This is not a sad day, it is a fact day.


I will continue to run, my huskies, my body and my mind need to run, I just will not dream any more….