Anniversaries and dream evolutions

One month has now gone. On the day that is the anniversary of Kai's birth 14 years ago, today also marks the passing of one month since Kai slipped away. Life goes on, but Kade still mourns the loss of a father, as do I mourn the loss of a special friend.

Today also marks the final end on a two year dream. A very special dream that burned stronger than any dream I have ever known. It lasted only for a short time, intense heat and sparks at creation, then it burned brightly, smouldering for a while and then today it ran out of oxgyen. The energy to fuel it gone. The glow has disappeared forever.

But, as life goes on, even after death, as do dreams. Dreams evolve and dreams are created in the flash of a nanosecond. A little spark within the pathways of the mind and soon inspiration floods through the grey matter, into the red river of the body's energy, straight to the heart. From there it moves through to the tummy and excitement begins. Feel it strongly and the eyes weep to cleanse the vision to bring clarity to eyes that want to turn the dream into a vision.

Losing a Best Friend

Today I said my final farewell to one of the best friends that I have ever been priviledged to know.
Muiryett's Power Game (Kai) first entered my life nealy fourteen years ago as a little bouncy bundle of husky fur. I did not choose him, but he chose me. From two litters of puppies all looking for new homes, Kai was the one that followed me every where from the moment that we first met. He waited for me outside the toilet, whilst all the other puppies were scrabbling over the bonio biscuits that they had found. I scooped him into my arms and cuddled him close to me. Our lives from that point forth would be intertwined until one of us had to move onto our next life. He was always there for me, through the good times and the bad. The dancing and smiling when I fell in love and when I succeeded in life's challenges. The sadness when I fell from success or lost the loves of my life. He was my forever in life's rollercoaster. He was a dog, yes, but a very special dog at that. Anyone that met him will agree to this fact. A companion, a father to Kade, a grandfather to Krofti, and great, great, great grandfather to Kez. He was all that plus more......
Now is not the time to share all our life experiences. There were many, a lifetime of memories. For now I am in mourning for a loss that is hard to accept. Yes, I have been preparing for this for a very long time, but that does not make it any easier.
Kai continued his battle for life until he returned to his place of birth. He was born in Lanarkshire and will rest forever in Lanarkshire. This pleases me as it feels very symbolic.
I now wear a charm bracelet upon my wrist, a Christmas present that for now has two significant charms, one of these charms represents my memories of Kai, forever engrained within my mind. I will touch it when I want to remember the good times, and good times there were many!

When a race achieves its objective

Gosport Semi Marathon a distant memory, time to try another similar race. This time with a different objective. A run for fun and a wee blast before next week's 3 race challenge....
Conditions could not have been worse (well they could have but for the purpose of this piece please try and imagine the worst conditions ever!), freezing cold, torrential rain and crowds of people all around me. Not good for a claustrophobic runner.
Wise words from coach firmly etched in my mind "you love to run, racing is running, therefore you enjoy racing" I leapt forward as the gun when off and braced myself for the onslaught.
Within the first 0.5 mile I had to check my stride and almost stop as someone cut right in front of me, two hundred yards later it happened again,and then again. I could feel my ankle react and my mind transported temporarily back to Gosport. Not today. I could not stop today. I dug deep, then deeper and then I found what I needed for that moment. I got angry felt it grow in my belly and into my mind. How rude these people were, do they not have any racing manners at all. It is almost paramount to bullying and very selfish too. Overtake and then cut directly in front of person, causing them to alter their stride just because you want that line. If you are running faster than me then please just continue for a few strides more and let me enjoy my run too.
I am almost ashamed to say this (as it is comparing myself to others which one should not do), but I thought "how many of these people have represented Great Britain, run in a World Championships, and become a Champion of a Nation"?
On that thought, I breathed deeply and continued on my path with a strong mind. I did not get anxious, did not try to escape, just ran.
After a few more miles the crowds had thinned and it was no longer a problem for the claustrophobic runner. I was in the zone, running very comfortably and enjoying the race, even enjoying the rain when it came down in buckets (and these buckets were like the size of 5 tonne skips - honest). I was only running at marathon/ultra pace, which was acceptable as my only objective today was to get to the finish line happy and comfortable, fully prepared for next weekend.
I did it. I got to the finish with a huge beaming smile.
Yesterday I ran a comfortable 5k PB in a very respectable time of 19.06, today I conquered one of my little mind demons.

When a race goes wrong

Gosport Semi Marathon. A chance to test my fitness, push myself and further build my confidence. One of my racing targets for 2009.
Did not happen. I quit after five miles. If I am honest I quit before I even started.
I will not detail the reasons why I actually stopped, I know exactly why I stopped and I am neither proud nor ashamed of my reasons. They were my reasons.
The aftermath of making such a decision can be pretty intense and debilitating. I remember all too well how public opinion was divided when Paula stepped off the course at the Olympic marathon. How quickly people that did not want to understand turned against her. It was nothing short of shameful.
So on that note, I will not dwell on this race and the experience I endured. I will move on and do someting about it to make sure that it never happens again.
Every problem has at least two solutions......

Best Diet Ever - Fall in Love!!

It's official.... Fall in love and the weight drops off!

Is it due to all those delightful chemicals floating around the brain, or is it just that comfort eating is no longer required?

Is it because "love" provides a fuel like no other? A fuel that negates the need for chocolate.... the excitement, the energy, the feelings that come with all that is associated with "love" - sharing dreams, planning dreams, achieving dreams... Mind feeding off body, body feeding off mind...

What ever the reason, I am noticing a significant change in body size and shape, in a very positive way. Starting to feel confident about my little personal target to wear my Scotland Team hot pants in a race before the end of the season....

I am also feeling more confident in my running - very noticeable in a tough training session this evening, one of those ones when you really fear for the loss of your lunch! Post run check of my Garmin seems to prove that running improvements are definitely happening.

Have no fear though, I have no intention of losing any more weight, just a wee tone up here and there, a wee boost of confidence and then bingo, those hot pants can finally get their maiden voyage. But I am targeting some pretty major running improvements....

P.S. It does not need to be a person that you fall in love with. Fall in love with life! Or even just a thought or an act, or maybe even just a dream.

Rewarding a tough week: Run a Marathon!

Not the most common form of reward, but one in true Sandra style - for surviving a very intense week long Laser Safety Management training course (away from home), my personal prize would be to run a marathon... Marathon of choice, Dartmoor Vale - a nice "undulating" fun run for 26.2 miles!

Also a chance to try out my new ankle support, new trainers, new shorts and measure my heart rate for the longest ever race. What better way to spend a Sunday morning...

The plan was to take it very easy, any incidents with my ankle and I would pull out at half way. Being a very cold morning I didn't warm up until about 5 miles, little cold fingers prompting me to envisage within my mind the run across Antartica. Hardly comparable, but did lead to many hours of thinking all about the challenges ahead, in particular my rapidly expanding PhD thesis.... Marathons are fantastic times to think out plans - inspiration and motivation strong. This marathon was exceptional in that aspect as I was running within myself for the full duration and so never hit any tough patches or uncomfortable periods.

Between 16 & 17 miles my ankle became "troublesome", but it did not last and I soon forgot about it - until the 19 mile point when it was painful for a short period and then no more.

20 miles and I was fully warmed up. Ankle strong all hill climbing done, I stepped on the gas. Decided to push on and fully test my ankle support and rapidly growing confidence. Fast down hill section, the sort of decline that only weeks previously would have had me feeling physically sick with fear. Fear of ankle collapsing. But not today, today I flew and what a liberating feeling it was. I overtook many people, growing more and more confident with each stride. Running at just over seven minute mile pace it felt good, both ankle and hip strong.

I maintained a strong pace all the way to the finish. Mission accomplished. My trial of support, trainers and shorts all a success. A full marathon's worth of Garmin data to analyse later.

And my time? 3:33:12 (with nine minute negative split) - third lady overall. Not bad for a fun run, pretty good prize for what had started out as a reward anyway!

And a date with a friend and pizza in the evening to look forward to as well...

The Plan

THE PLAN.

Simply started out as the intention to finally run that snow marathon that I have dreamed of for years. Spoken about to a select few.

Ever since I knew that running and huskies works well together the dream had festered. Why not make it happen, and why not do it for charity? Why not now?

I have always said that one day I will run a big one for a very worthwhile charity. Well, they are not going to get much bigger than this one as I now know that there is a 100k race in Antartica... Much better than just a marathon, and more of a Sandra challenge.

Since then my mind has been working overtime, if I run a 100k in one of the coldest and most inhospitable habitats on Earth, then why not balance that out by running a 100k in Africa? One year after the snow run. Just think of the potential charity fund raising opportunities......

As I was sitting in the sauna and steam rooms today I even contemplated asking for permission to move one of the treadmills into the room so that I could practice acclimatising myself to oppressive heat! Maybe once I know them a little better...

Anyway, THE PLAN has now positively crescendoed since then. Many fund raising and attention grabbing challenges to pursue and to write about. To share with others and to include others. Motivate, inspire and enrol. All ideas have the X100run theme and are presently being pulled together into a business plan proposal that I will be sharing....

Is it possible to raise £100k for a very worthwhile and world wide charity?

I have already dipped my toes in the sea of opportunity and approached several million pound/ dollar companies (one of them is American) with the basic idea in principle - and been met with very positive responses.