A list minute entry to Thames Trot 50, organised by Go Beyond Ultra. This event was a chance for some self retribution after the “non happy” ultra three weeks prior. Pride and elbow still hurting from my Country to Capital trip....
I had simply one objective for this run. To enjoy. Enjoy and in doing so, remember who and what I am.
For this reason, my training partners were all given a part to play in my trot along the Thames Path, from Iffley, Oxford to Henley on Thames.
The plan was to run one dog at a time, changing them where Ian could meet me – based upon road access to the Thames Path.
First up was Kez, from Iffley to Abingdon Lock. Due to a very congested group of 380 runners, and some very narrow paths, he was the dog of choice to start the run with. A complete master of interpreting the actions of human runners, I know to trust and follow him when slaloming among runners. I have learned to interpret his body language and if he is unsure about an overtaking manoeuvre he looks to me for encouragement. We work well as a team. Most of the time I do not even have to give him a command, he just knows.
This run was very traumatic for him at times. Still struggling with confidence since the attack, every time we saw another dog (of which there were many) he tensed, and hesitated, frequently coming to a standstill. With my help and encouragement be would run on by, usually at high speed. Sadly there were many off lead and out of control dogs that charged at him all day. I am extremely grateful to one of my fellow runners that almost resorted to kicking one such dog into the Thames after it has chased us, nipping at Kez's legs for more than ½ of one mile!
As we approached Abingdon, Kez started picking up the pace, sniffing the air and I knew Ian and the other dogs were close by. Through Abingdon Lock and there they were, Kobi and Kroi both keen to have a go running with “mum”. Ian handed me Kobi and we were off..... And then we stopped... to sniff the grass (by “we” I mean I stood by as Kobi did what dogs do). Then we started running again, and then we stopped as a runner approached us from behind and Kobi got scared..... And so this pattern continued for every mile that I ran with Kobi. He sensed my frustration, which I so desperately tried to hide. All our huskies, especially Kobi respond strongly to our moods, even when we try to act differently, they just know. One of the reasons I have such a strong bond and connection with the dogs is that I am as honest with them as possible, it is rare for me to pretend to them that I am something else, they always know!
I could not get cross with Kobi, I knew his behaviour was being driven out of fear. We had delayed his de sexing operation as long as possible as I believed that he would regress as a result of this surgery. The confidence we had spent so long trying to build since he was rescued would be taken away and need to be rebuilt again. My worst fears have been realised as not only has his confidence taken a battering, his trust and connection with me has been severely torn apart. I so wanted to prevent this happening, but this connection has to be changed in order for our pack to be harmonious. I do not belong to him alone and he has to share me with Kez and the other pack members.
I will not deny the affect that Kobi's behaviour had on me. I was ready to quit the race after 14 miles as my emotional strength was gone. I had failed in my duty to this little dog and it hurt badly.
Kobi and I were given the honour of carrying the Olympic Flame in the torch relay on 12th July 2012. If I cannot help him between now and then, neither of us will take part in the relay. There is no way that he can do it alone (he will need another dog by his side), but I do not know at this moment in time if he will be able to even do that. This dream I had is slipping away and I find that hard. I do not mind failing myself, but to fail another is a huge burden to bear. If he is not there, I will not be there.
When I reached the doggy handover point at Clifton Hampden Bridge, Ian was waiting and he knew from my face that I was in a bad place. He handed me Kroi, but I could not run. My energy had been completely drained from my body and I just wanted to crawl into the back of the car with all of the dogs. Ian tried to convince me not to give up, but I was not hearing his words, just feeling the pain of Kobi and what he has endured and had to cope with in his short life.
I know all too well the emotional consequences of DNF in a race. I did not care, it would be my punishment for letting my little boy down. Kobi looked happy now with his little pack, a few grizzles with Kez, but nothing that could not just be attributed to “boys talk”.
I could see that Kroi wanted to run, was keen to do what he loves doing, but my legs failed me. Then, Ian said the magic words, “go with Kroi, he is the future...” something about those words gave me the inspiration to provide power to my legs and I responded to Kroi's demands that we ran...
Once we were moving it did not take me long to find myself again. A husky's enthusiasm for running tends to have that effect!
We ran stride for stride for many miles, eating up the ground, catching up with other runners and striding on by. Kroi certainly is the future, but he is also the present. He is only 8 months old and full baby brother to the most amazing endurance athlete I have had the pleasure to run with, Kez. Together they will make an amazing team and I have a feeling that they will become rather famous – something that will please Kroi immensely as he is absolutely fascinated by people with cameras! He will happily run past other people and other dogs, even earning to switch off from “huntable” creatures when running, but put a camera in front of him and there is no way he will ignore it! He runs straight to them and just stands there... and for some reason the first section that I ran with him had four people with cameras..... boy that was fun trying to explain to people that he was only a baby and not a badly behaved dog!!
The other really funny thing that happened during my first run with Kobi was when I realised we were approaching Streatley. I suddenly recognised The Ridgeway on the other side of the Thames. It is no secret that I have very fond memories of The Ridgeway and that I have a very important objective upon it in August 2012... So when I realised where I was, I could not help myself in screeching the words “it's The Ridgeway” to my fellow runners! Those not wearing earphones looked at me blankly and I was rewarded for my enthusiasm by nearly falling over in the mud that was rapidly defrosting beneath out feet/ paws. I managed to stay upright and we reached the next check point. More delicious cake for me, and a few well deserved sausages for the puppy. He wanted the jelly babies, but I had to remain firm and “motherly” to his requirements!!
After Goring/ Streatley Bridge Kroi was replaced with Kez and off we headed to my most favourite section of the Thames Path....
Before I reached it I spoke with a lady with the most amazing leggings – they were pink and stripey and looked really cool. I complemented her and in return she complemented my Zensah pink calf sleeves. We spoke for a few minutes and as I ran on I had a feeling that we would speak again, something kinda clicked and I just knew.... Her parting words to me were to take care of my ankle on the next section (she knew the course from a previous run), there is no way she could have known about my ankle, but it felt kinda special that she made the point.....
I did indeed take care of my ankle during the next few miles, and took care of a few mind demons as well....
It is well known that I am a fan of hills, and suddenly I had some nice little mounds to run up and down. The foot of the Chiltern hills I believe, what fun I had. I was so tempted to turn around just to be able to run up and down them again....
It was around this point (around 30 miles) that I suddenly realised just how significant and beneficial my “alternative” training is. Running with two rebelious and competitive dogs at 5 am most days of the week has give me phenomenal leg strength. I have to use my quads to brake and although it hurts, it has given me very strong legs. All during the run and in the two days after, I have felt absolutely no pain or discomfort in my legs at all.
I reached Ian at Whitchurch on Thames where I handed over Kez and went solo as there was a road section for a few miles.
Kez then joined me again at Purley on Thames, where we continued until Shiplake where Kroi joined me for the final run in to Henley.
Anyone that knows me, will know that I always finish ultra events strongly, typically my last two miles are my fastest of the full race. On this day, that was not to be...
Kroi was fascinated by all the people that were out walking along the banks of the Thames. He wanted to speak to them all, play with all the children and dogs. He did not want to run at sub 7 minute mile pace! When I am running with dogs, their needs always come first, so I resigned myself to a casual run to the finish line. There is a boardwalk section that goes across the Thames, and then back again. Wooden boardwalks are not puppy friendly and his little paws kept on slipping between the slats – never in danger of hurting himself, it was still a very daunting experience for a baby husky. I nearly resorted to carrying him, but he soldiered on and we made it safely to the other side.
Lots of dogs to say hello to in the park, I could see the finish line but was powerless to pick up the pace until the last 100 yards when Kroi spotted cameras and raced towards them.
The end of a 50 mile run and another day of amazing experiences, good and bad. I cannot thank the organisers (Go Beyond Ultra) or my fellow runners enough. They were all so supportive and a pleasure to spend the day with. I shared time with old friends, and made new friends along the way.
So what comes next.... Kobi needs a lot of help, which we will give to him. Whatever it takes it whatever we will give.... And for my running? I think I realised a few things about myself on Saturday. A few things that I may have forgotten, courtesy of the stresses of everyday life. I am an ultra runner, it comes naturally to me and I have the most amazing training partners, support partner (that's you Ian) and amazing friends that I have met through my running.
I remember now and I don't intend on forgetting. I achieved my objective, plus a little bit more. The Thames Path now favours well in my memories and I would like to discover more of it.....
