Country to Capital 45 mile race, dogs allowed.... The perfect race for me, or so I thought.....
The plan was for another fun training run with Kez, the reality was a torturous 45 mile run, without Kez.
Kez was hurt badly in the days leading up to the this event, hurt in a way I would never have imagined. He might never recover from his physcological injuries. Only time will tell.....
I started the race as a person already defeated by the stresses of life. My sole objective was to get from Wendover, Buckinghamshire to the finish in Little Venice, London, without assistance from any motorised vehicle. I nearly did not make it...
To run an ultra distance event when one's mind is "not on it" is a very tough experience indeed. In the days preceeding the event my mind was distracted in dealing with issues related to my caninen training partners. Issues beyond immediate understanding by human mind.
On a very positive note, due to the circumstances, I decided to run the first few miles of the run with little puppy Kroi (pronounced Kree). Run a few miles to help him understand what it is like to run amongst humans in a proper race. Kroi absolutley and without exception excelled himself. He ran happily amongst hundreds of runners, dodging amongst those runnin slower than he wanted to. On this one occassion I was happy to run under 6 minute mile pace for a few miles. Yes, it was an ultra and 6 minute mile pace is a little bit disrespectful, but hey ho, I kinda know how to get through an ultra now....
It was fun running with Kroi, his enthusiasm infectious. We devoured those first few miles.... Even the stiles (of which Kroi has never experienced in his short life) were dealt with admiraby by the puppy on a mission..... This is a a star in the making, of that I am sure :-)
It ended all too quickly and Kroi had to be dropped off, into the support vehicle manned by Ian and Kez. All too soon I was running on my own, and struggling.
I did not want to be away from "my pack". Away from the centre of my universe. They needed me and I was trying to ignore this simple fact. Why? Because apparently I am strong and I can dig deep and drive on, even when I think some little fluffy creatures and their male protector need me (Ian - I consider you to be this person :-)).
Every time I met with Ian on my 45 mile trudge to London, I struggled with tears and had to drag myself away. So wrong, it felt so wrong.
There were occassions when I could temporarily forget my dilemma. I spoke with friends that I have met over the past year or so. Friends that also run ultras for "fun". These occassions were respite from my torture, a little break and helpful momentum for my journey towards London....
Running alongside a canal, I realised how much I appreciate the running amongst nature that make up my daily life in the Wiltshire countryside. Mostly untouched by human hand, I see creatures living as nature intended. I am not subjected to foxes suspended in canal waters or creatures floating in the water with human "rubbish" entwined amongst their limbs.
I will not prolong the pain if this run by describing in minute detail what I endured. I made a decision to not quit and was prepared to walk all the way to the finish if that was what I needed to do.
Ironically, not long after I made this decision, I fell over and badly damamaged myself. As I lay on the floor in a huge amount of pain, I saw only one thing - the finish line. DNF was not going to be listed against my name, I know only too well the consequences of such an affix....
I did continue, and I did finish. My Camelbak provided a perfect sling for my damaged elbow - who needs arms when running anyway ;-) The marshalls were brilliant in their offering of medical assistance and support. My fellow runners kept stopping to offer a word of help or support - to everyone of you, I am grateful - thank you.
Tomorrow an X-ray of my damaged elbow becons. Chipped bone the suspected culprit. Until then I will remember, remember yet another ultra that I struggled through. I need to remember these races as these are the very ones that allow me to every so often perform beyond expectations. It is preparation for those races that mean something special to me :-)
Those special races are not for a while, they can wait while I help out little pack become harmonious once again :-)
