Two sides to every story: the words of "the victim"

Now that I am feeling so much better, I thought that it would be a good idea to speak out. I feel sorry for Kobi just now as it appears I am getting all the sympathy, whilst he is in the dog house.

He really scared me the other day when he went all weird and attacked me. Once he started he didn't want to stop and he hurt me a lot.

He has been very tetchy for a little while now, getting really irritated and using bad language a lot. If he was a human I think he would have spots and play loud music in his bedroom. He even has even sworn at the humans. He wasn't always like that, I remember how he used to be....

When he first arrived he was all skin and bone and scared of everything. Human pack leader wanted me to do things with him and kept giving us things to play with and take us out on walks together. I like when human pack leader is happy, so I let Kobi follow me around like my shadow.

Human pack leader is awesome. When I first came to live with her I was scared of the other dogs that lived there, but she was always there to hold my paw and help me become more confident. I learned not be scared of the other dogs and we all became really good friends. Sometimes I got a little too confident and teased Krofti until he got grumpy. Grandpa and human pack leader usually told me off for this behaviour. Grandpa was such a wise dog and smart dog and I think the human pack leader used to copy stuff that he did as he knew everything when it came to his canine family. Grandpa was so chilled and laid back, and so polite as well. I was really sad when we went up to Scotland one time to play in the snow and Grandpa didn't come back home with us.

Human pack leader and I do a lot of running together and it is the best thing ever. We run for hours and hours, sometimes with other people, which I know she is a little uncomfortable with as I sense her tensing up and it makes me a little worried too. I try to help her by not letting her slow down, keep her running and make her stronger. She always slows down when people tell her she is “cheating”, which is silly cos I don't think other humans are cheating when they run with their best friends. I think people misunderstand my intentions and when they see me running in front they assume that I am pulling human pack leader along. I will help her in that way if she asks me to, but most of the time I am just running ahead making sure she follows me and doesn't become lazy and slow down. If I was pulling all the time she wouldn't be working as hard as she should. Anyway, I know she has run for Great Britain and Scotland (when she used to be Scottish) and I know that they only let really good runners do that.

Anyway, little shadow dog Kobi started coming running with me and human pack leader. He didn't come on the really long runs as his little body wasn't strong enough and he got tired and bored easily. He was always really easily distracted and human pack leader had to constantly tell him what to do. Sometimes he wouldn't listen and it upset me to see human pack leader get upset too. She never got cross with him, but she started smelling differently and her face went all ugly.

Spending so much time with Kobi, I learned a lot about him and his life before he came to live with us. Humans had never really liked him or spent time with him. He never had any doggy friends and sometimes he would go for days and days without food. He always smelled really bad and had little beasties living in his belly and in his fur.

He says he ran away from a very bad place and then a little girl found him and tried to help him. He doesn't remember much about the little girl, but she changed his life as he then got food every day and a bed to sleep in. Then he went to live with a man and lady and their dog for a little while. He liked the other dog but didn't trust the humans cos he thinks humans can't be trusted. They don't know how to talk dog and get all confused and angry when we don't act like humans want us to. This bit I didn't believe as I know humans can talk to us, yes they get it wrong sometimes, but most of them at least make the effort. I met the dog the Kobi spoke of and tried to teach him how to to run one time. I don't think the dog liked me as he knocked me over and tried to hurt me when I showed him my belly.

I didn't mind running with Kobi when there were no other people around, but when we were running with lots of other humans he started acting really weird. At first he wouldn't go anywhere near them and would take a huge detour to avoid. Then he became happy running as long as they were also running. If they stopped running and looked at him or if there were spectators close by, he went all funny. Then he started goading all the runners into racing him – shouting “look at me” I am faster than you!” I didn't like this as it is bad manners and human pack leader always told us to be polite when around other humans. They don't shout at us, so we shouldn't shout at them.

Same applies to all the out of control dogs that come charging up to us when we are out running. Only today one of those dogs came charging over, shouting and swearing at me. His owner did nothing to stop him and when I nose punched him, he squeaked and his owner said “serves you right”. Surely it is not my job to reprimand unruly behaviour from dogs living in other packs, is that not what their pack leader should be doing....?

Anyway, round about the time Kobi started getting really competitive with human runners, he started teasing me that human pack leader would soon prefer him over me as he was better than me. He obviously doesn't know human pack leader very well as I know that she doesn't have favourites and gives all of the pack very special one on one attention as much as she can. She sacrifices some of her runs just to make sure that we all get a little bit of what we all like as individuals, and sometimes she even tries to take all five of us running. I wish she wouldn't as she gets all stressed and grumpy when the youngsters misbehave – Oh yeah, forgot to mention my little brother. He arrived some time before Kobi started going all weird.

Kobi would walk around me teasing me and glaring at me. At first I tried to make jokes to try and get him to stop, but that only made it worse. Then I tried talking to him using really big intelligent words, tried to confuse him as I know his education was not as advanced as mine...

Thankfully the humans would usually cough at this point and Kobi would walk away muttering “get you later” under his breath. He started teasing me a lot, and got really grumpy when I returned from a long run with human pack leader. One time he tried to bite me after I had been running a marathon, and even swore at human pack leader when she scolded him. I think it was the first time I heard her actually get cross with him.

Kobi even tried taking over my identity.... He appeared in glossy magazines with my name and my achievements listed as if they were his. I chose to ignore this as I believe that it was a genuine mistake, but Kobi laughed at me and said it wasn't. I shan't tell him about the internationally published magazine that interviewed human pack leader recently – asked questions all about me and the relationship we have together when we are running. This can be my little secret until Kobi is ready to accept that we all have a very special place in human pack leader's heart....

And so, to the fateful event that happened the other day....

I think I may have bumped my head at one point as I cannot be 100% sure exactly what happened. Just before Kobi bit me for the first time he had been getting grumpy with my little brother. When this happens I usually try to get in between both of them to try and stop Kobi getting any grumpier. I remember Grandpa used to do this, and he always knew best. I used to wish I could be more like Grandpa, so chilled, relaxed and confident about what to do. I think human pack leader wanted me to be like that too, and Grandpa did try to teach me lots of things about pack behaviour, but I don't think I was the best pupil – I preferred to do things on my own or with human pack leader.

So maybe I was protecting my little brother, or maybe I did let slip to Kobi about the magazine article, whatever the reason he decided to bite me, again and again. Every time I ran away, he came after me.

After the humans had cleaned me up they let me sleep upstairs with them, little bro came too, snuggling up to me and nudging me every now and then to make sure I was OK. Human pack leader had to carry me upstairs on the second night after the attack as I forgot how to climb the stairs. I also forgot that dogs wee in the garden and the humans weren't quite quick enough to get me a potty. I think it was a little like an inside waterfall down the stairs.....

One night I couldn't even lay down as everything was so sore. The humans looked like pandas after that night, with big black patches around their eyes.

After a few days I allowed Kobi to come into the same room as me, as the humans watched over, ready to cough if he got grumpy. I knew they wouldn't let Kobi hurt me and Kobi respected this.

Then Kobi went away for a day. He looked so sad and lost when he came back, just like the day we first met him. I felt sorry for him and wasn't scared that he might hurt me again. Since then he has been trying really hard to be my friend again. Kroi and I still sleep upstairs, but when we come down in the morning he is really happy to see all of us and sometimes acts like a little puppy, which makes me laugh and I don't get tense when he punches me!

I think he is sorry for what happened and wants us to be friends again, but don't think he will apologise because boys are normally not very good at doing that....

Last night he came over when I was laying sleeping on the floor in the living room. He started annoying me and trying to walk around me. I told him to go away and play with his toys... and he did! He just went, “OK” and then walked away! Perhaps he really does want to be friends again.....

The wise words of an old dog...

Life around here has gone a little bit crazy of late. It wasn't always like this. I remember how it used to be, back in the days when I was a boy. Life was simple then.

For most of my formative years it was just dad and I, then later Krofti. We all ran together, rig raced together and slept together. We used to go running with human pack leader and sometimes we even ran with Brego the horse as well - that was fun! We did everything together, never a cross word, between us. Dad took care of Krofti and I, and with human pack leader's help, we led a very content and comfortable life.

Then we moved into a house with a garden that wasn't big enough for Brego and he went to live somewhere else. We only lived in that house for a short while and then we moved into this fantastic house with a huge garden and lots of creatures to hunt.

Kez joined us soon after, round about the time that dad stopped coming on long runs with us. He got tired easily and seemed to prefer to sleep at home, waiting for us to return.

Kez was a funny little chap when he first moved in. He was scared of Krofti and didn't really want to play with me. Dad kept a watchful eye over him, but didn't interact much with him. Kez seemed to be fascinated with human pack leader and would follow her everywhere. When she went to work he would get really upset and sometimes he made terrible messes of things that were laying around – between you and I, those things should really have been tidied up, so not really Kez's fault. One time someone put the wrong address on a package and it was delivered to our house by mistake, Kez chewed all the CDs into tiny little pieces - took the humans quite a while to work out what the package was.....

Kez did make a brilliant running partner for me. At first he was a little pig headed and had to be persuaded that I knew best. I was a lead dog from the age of nine months so I did know what I was doing. He did eventually learn and was soon a fabulous training partner for me and for the human pack leader. Kez and I started doing a lot more longer and faster runs together, whilst Krofti and dad kept guard at home (they were actually sleeping but don't tell anyone that).

Kez used to got really nervous around other dogs and several tried to attack him. Human pack leader was also very nervous around other runners and so she decided to start taking us to local parkrun events where we could run amongst other people, as quickly as possible for a short while. Truth be know, we all preferred much longer distances, but it was good experience for us all and we did enjoy them.

We used to run for hours and hours together, sometimes dad and Krofti joining us on the slower and shorter runs.

Then dad stopped wanting to come on most runs, and looked sad all the time. We went up to Scotland one winter to play in the snow, and we came back without dad.

I had never known life without dad beside me, he used to protect me when I was scared and the only time I ever saw him cross was when a massive malamute dog attacked me and dad tried to get him off me. It took both him and human pack leader to stop the dog hurting us all. She was really brave and wrapped herself around the dog and pulled him off dad when the dog turned on him.

Overnight, my life and our little pack's life changed. Human pack leader's first language is English, then dog, sometimes she doesn't understand us and why we do things. Dad did and always knew what to do. If we were being naughty he would just glare at us or quietly growl, or sometimes he would even raise his paw and smack Kez and Krofti if they were getting a bit too boisterous. I don't think it hurt, it just made them stop and think.

Not long after dad left us, I started loosing interest in running really long distances with Kez. My heart was not in it any more, and Kez no longer needed my guidance, he was rapidly becoming a brilliant endurance athlete with an amazing relationship with human pack leader. They started doing longer runs together and looked so happy when they came back. I didn't mind as I still got to run every day, and at whatever pace I wanted to.

As I started enjoying the more sedentary life, another human joined the pack and he was a runner too. He likes to run on tarmac, which our paws don't like much of, so he runs on his own while human pack leader runs with us.

Now this is where it starts getting really weird, another dog suddenly appeared and he was nothing like Kroft and Kez were like as puppies. He was a lot older than they had been when they arrived, he smelled funny and his little face was so sad looking. He crept around the house, not wanting to go anywhere near human pack leader or her mate. If they looked at him he would drop to the ground as if he had been shot. He gulped his food down so quickly that it gave him terrible wind and he had no manners.

He had weird ways of doing stuff, like laying on his back playing with his own paws. But for some reason he absolutely adored Kez and would follow him around everywhere. Human pack leader was trying really hard to make friends with this puppy (whom they named Kobi), Kez helped both of them by allowing Kobi to shadow him every time he went to human pack leader for cuddles.

Kobi settled in with the dog pack very quickly, but not the human pack. He used to tell us all about the bad things that happened to him in the places where he used to live. I felt really sorry for him and on occasions I even let him share my food.

Kobi started running with Kez in little races and as his confidence grew, he started getting really competitive. He would even challenge the human runners to a race, shouting at them, which is something I personally take exception to. We were always taught as youngsters to be calm and quiet on the start line of a race, other dogs were not always polite and would sometimes act completely out of control – this upset both Kez and I as it is rude and bad manners to shout and swear at others. I think human pack leader finds it hard to get him to calm down and then she gets all stressed too. Kobi pretended that it was “just enthusiasm”....

Anyway, some time in between, another puppy came to live with us. This time he looked like Kez and Krofti had and smelled like them too. But the best bit is that he reminded me so much of dad. As time has passed he has grown more like dad, the way he acts, his attitude to life and his bond with human pack leader. I think his name is Kree, but I hear him referred to as superbrat,so maybe he has two names. He teases me a lot, tries to play “I am bigger than you” games, but I don't really take him seriously. He is never grumpy or bad tempered, just a little too boisterous... most of the time!

Kobi started spending a lot of time with superbrat, playing for hours. Sometimes it would get a bit unruly and Kez would stand between Kobi and Kree – forever the wannabe peacemaker. Kez used to also do this when Kobi annoyed Krofti a little too much. I think Kez learned this from dad, but not all the other stuff dad used to do.

Kobi then started acting funny around Kez. He would start circling him, grumbling and walking very stiffly. Kez didn't like it and would get really tense and start telling really bad jokes. When the bad jokes didn't work it started using very particular language to try and get Kobi to stop. Krofti and I used to joke about the fact that he used big words that a street kid wouldn't understand. I think this upset Kobi and made him even grumpier towards Kez.

Then Kobi started really losing the plot. He decided that he wanted human pack leader all to himself. He has never trusted another human his whole life and suddenly he became fearful that his relationship with human pack leader was in jeopardy because of Kez. Every time Kez went to her, he would try and intercept, get in the way and take all the attention for himself. Kez didn't like this and knew it was not what human pack leader wanted.

I am not sure exactly what happened last week. My hearing has now failed me and my memory is not always what it used to be. Whatever started it, the outcome was one of the most scary things I have ever known...

Kobi attacked Kez with his teeth. He completely went beserk and wouldn't stop. Three times he did it, each time Kez tried to run away he chased him and continued hurting him. There was water and mud and blood every where. I didn't know what to do and just hoped that the humans would return soon. Kobi had a really weird look on his face and he didn't look like a Siberian Husky any more – we always wondered if there was more to his ancestry than he told us. Maybe his mum had an affair or something like that.

The humans did return. They looked really upset and confused. Then they cleaned everything up and tried to calm Kez. He was completely beside himself and petrified of Kobi. He wouldn't go near any of the areas where Kobi pounced on him, shook with fear if Kobi even looked at him.

Since then Kez has spent a lot of time upstairs, refusing to stay unattended with Kobi. He has become more tolerant of being near him, but still tenses up and says he doesn't ever want to be friends with him again.

Through all of this, superbrat has been a little star. He went back and forth between Kobi and Kez, asking them if they were ok. He then decided that Kez needed company and snuggled up as closely to him as possible, licking his wounds every now and again.

Kobi went away for a day this week, and when he came back he smelled differently. He looked really sleepy and had a big plaster near where his boy bits are.

Superbrat told me not to worry, it would all be ok soon. He told me that he had a special dream one night and in this dream a big grey dog came up to him and told him that it was nearly his time. The dog told superbrat that the pack had been looking for a very special dog for a very long time, and this very special dog was him. He needed to start growing up and becoming responsible for a great many things. He told him that he did not have to fear it as the humans would help him, it would take time, but when it was done, the pack would once more be harmonious again.

I don't think superbrat quite understood his dream, but I did. Superbrat described the dog in great detail and there is only one dog that it could have been. It was dad. Dad wants Kree to be just like he was when he lived with us.

Dad also had another name, it was Kai. In many cultures the name Kai has several meanings: strong and unbreakable and love being two prominent ones, along with references to King and Emperor..... That was dad through and through, full of love, very strong, unbreakable and ruler of his pack. I know what the dream means, superbrat will one day soon also understand....

C2C: Bad day "at the office"....??

Country to Capital 45 mile race, dogs allowed.... The perfect race for me, or so I thought.....

The plan was for another fun training run with Kez, the reality was a torturous 45 mile run, without Kez.

Kez was hurt badly in the days leading up to the this event, hurt in a way I would never have imagined. He might never recover from his physcological injuries. Only time will tell.....

I started the race as a person already defeated by the stresses of life. My sole objective was to get from Wendover, Buckinghamshire to the finish in Little Venice, London, without assistance from any motorised vehicle. I nearly did not make it...

To run an ultra distance event when one's mind is "not on it" is a very tough experience indeed. In the days preceeding the event my mind was distracted in dealing with issues related to my caninen training partners. Issues beyond immediate understanding by human mind.

On a very positive note, due to the circumstances, I decided to run the first few miles of the run with little puppy Kroi (pronounced Kree). Run a few miles to help him understand what it is like to run amongst humans in a proper race. Kroi absolutley and without exception excelled himself. He ran happily amongst hundreds of runners, dodging amongst those runnin slower than he wanted to. On this one occassion I was happy to run under 6 minute mile pace for a few miles. Yes, it was an ultra and 6 minute mile pace is a little bit disrespectful, but hey ho, I kinda know how to get through an ultra now....

It was fun running with Kroi, his enthusiasm infectious. We devoured those first few miles.... Even the stiles (of which Kroi has never experienced in his short life) were dealt with admiraby by the puppy on a mission..... This is a a star in the making, of that I am sure :-)

It ended all too quickly and Kroi had to be dropped off, into the support vehicle manned by Ian and Kez. All too soon I was running on my own, and struggling.

I did not want to be away from "my pack". Away from the centre of my universe. They needed me and I was trying to ignore this simple fact. Why? Because apparently I am strong and I can dig deep and drive on, even when I think some little fluffy creatures and their male protector need me (Ian - I consider you to be this person :-)).

Every time I met with Ian on my 45 mile trudge to London, I struggled with tears and had to drag myself away. So wrong, it felt so wrong.

There were occassions when I could temporarily forget my dilemma. I spoke with friends that I have met over the past year or so. Friends that also run ultras for "fun". These occassions were respite from my torture, a little break and helpful momentum for my journey towards London....

Running alongside a canal, I realised how much I appreciate the running amongst nature that make up my daily life in the Wiltshire countryside. Mostly untouched by human hand, I see creatures living as nature intended. I am not subjected to foxes suspended in canal waters or creatures floating in the water with human "rubbish" entwined amongst their limbs.

I will not prolong the pain if this run by describing in minute detail what I endured. I made a decision to not quit and was prepared to walk all the way to the finish if that was what I needed to do.

Ironically, not long after I made this decision, I fell over and badly damamaged myself. As I lay on the floor in a huge amount of pain, I saw only one thing - the finish line. DNF was not going to be listed against my name, I know only too well the consequences of such an affix....

I did continue, and I did finish. My Camelbak provided a perfect sling for my damaged elbow - who needs arms when running anyway ;-) The marshalls were brilliant in their offering of medical assistance and support. My fellow runners kept stopping to offer a word of help or support - to everyone of you, I am grateful - thank you.

Tomorrow an X-ray of my damaged elbow becons. Chipped bone the suspected culprit. Until then I will remember, remember yet another ultra that I struggled through. I need to remember these races as these are the very ones that allow me to every so often perform beyond expectations. It is preparation for those races that mean something special to me :-)

Those special races are not for a while, they can wait while I help out little pack become harmonious once again :-)

Dear Mummy: I have done a very bad thing...

Dear Mummy,

I don't think my new mum and dad love me anymore. They still feed me and run with me and they still touch me and say all the nice words that used to make me happy. But I don't feel that nice warm feeling from them anymore, mum's eyes don't smile at me anymore. I used to like that feeling, it made me feel safe and happy inside. Kez wont play with me anymore, he starts crying and running away whenever I go near him or try to speak to him.

Mum, dad and Kez look so sad all the time and I think it is because I did a very bad thing....

I was playing with Kez and then suddenly I went all weird and started biting him like the wild wolves bite the baby bisons on the television. I couldn't stop it even though Kez kept trying to run away, I just chased him and did it again, and again.

Mum and dad had to put me in another room to make me stop, and then they spent hours cleaning Kez's body and trying to stop him crying. Dad had to clean the walls cos they had got covered in mud and yeuch. I had a sore nose, which they bathed - I think Kez bit me to try and get me to stop hurting him.

I don't know why I did it. I have been feeling grumpy and aggitated recently, get cross when dogs tell me they are bigger and faster than me. Kez has not wanted to run with me recently and I get cross with him cos I know Mum wants us to run together. It makes her happy.

Sometimes I remember the bad stuff that happened to me. Sometimes I want to hurt the people that treated me so badly, make sure they don't ever do the same to another dog. Maybe I got confused and thought Kez was those bad people - sometimes he tries to wind me up saying things that upset me. I know he is just teasing me, but maybe I forgot this time.

Mum and dad let Kez move upstairs, and they didn't even shout at him when he kept weeing like a girl inside the house. He forgot that proper boys do little pees against trees.

They put a big cage in the kitchen and keep putting me inside it with treats. I like the treats but I don't like when the door on the cage is closed. I want to run and play in the house and garden with all the other guys. Kroi is really nice and comes and sits beside me with his toys. Then he runs over to Kez and tells him it will be ok, tells him one day we can all be friends again.

Kroi seems so smart for such a baby. He doesn't ever get grumpy and wants to be friends with everyone. The nice lady from next door kept trying to get him to play with tennis balls when I was really grumpy the other day. He pretended that he was interested so she kept throwing more for him to chase..... He now has a collection of tennis balls that he shows Kade with great pride. I wonder if I can try his trick when mum offers biscuits...

I heard mum and dad talking the other night when everyone else was sleeping. They spoke of sending me away on a holiday for a little while, or maybe forever. They also spoke of sending me to a special place in the sky. Then they got really upset and went all quiet. I don't want to go somewhere that will upset mum and dad. I want them to be happy like they way they have made me feel. I didn't know how to smile or wag my tail before I met them. I like smiling and wagging my tail.

They also spoke of removing something from my body that would stop me being a daddy. I don't want to be a daddy that would be silly. I wouldn't be able to run and play all day as I would have to look after the kids. They have spoken of this for a long time, but mum was worried that I would not be strong enough for them to remove it. She is being very silly as I am easily the strongest dog around here. I am faster and stronger than all the dogs I have ever met.

Yesterday mum and dad took Kez and Kroi away all day and when they came back mum had a big bandage on her elbow and on her knee. Mum smelled of "run", but Kez didn't, which I don't understand as Kez always smells of "run" when he goes away with mum. I heard mum crying when she moved her arm and she couldn't take me for a walk this morning, dad did instead.

I didn't mean to hurt Kez and I don't know why I did it. He is my best friend. I just want us to be a big happy family again.

I wish you could wave a magic wand and make it all better mummy, undo what has been done and help me forget the bad stuff that ever happened to me. I don't want it to haunt me forever.

Forever yours,
Kobi

My love affair with ultra running: How it all began..

As a child I had high aspirations of running 800 metres wearing the red, white and blue vest of Team GBR. This dream probably was derived from my hero worshipping of someone called Sebastian Coe, and the fact that my PE teacher at school told me I would never be any good at long distance running......

Always a very active child, with a “why walk when you can run” type of philosophy, I was dealt a very heavy blow when I was thirteen and suffered a serious injury while participating in pony club games. At the time, medical advice was that I had sprained my ankle and that the years of pain and intermittent limping was due to the fact that I was lazy and making excuses, perhaps seeking attention.

Fast forward more than twenty years, many hospital appointments, a lot of frustration, and sometimes excruciating pain and I finally found an ankle consultant that decided to perform an MRI scan.

I will never forget the day that I was told the results of the scan. The words are forever etched in my mind, “severe avascular necrosis of the talus bone”. I knew then that “necrosis” means dead, or dying, it does not mean “everything is fine and you have a nice healthy ankle”!

Based upon the evidence that the consultant had before him, I had suffered a compound fracture during the childhood accident that had caused the blood supply to be cut off from the bone joint. As it had never been treated, the bone had become diseased and rotten, resulting in many fragments of bone and cartilage floating around within the joint. The ligaments had also slackened and become detached from the bone.

The good news was that my consultant was a surgical genius! The first operation removed all the debris, drilled through the bone to cause bleeding, which in turn would become scar tissue that would be my new cartilage.

The bad news was that during my post operative check, I met with my consultant's registrar.... His words were, “you will never run again. You might manage a mile or two, but you will never run a marathon.....”. He then went on to describe my future and how I would be a cripple within 5 years and I would probably need either an ankle replacement, or ankle fusion within 10 years.

Before my tears had subsided, I had created and accepted my own challenge. Before I became this cripple, I would run one marathon, and that marathon would be THE marathon, oh yes, I would run the London Marathon!

In order to guarantee my entry to London, I discovered that I would have to run a qualifying time at another marathon. No problem, I then get to run two marathons before I settle for the sedentary life.

Long story short, I ran the New Forest Marathon in 3:34 thus guaranteeing my London entry for the following year. I then decided to run Abingdon Marathon the following month as I liked the idea of a Championship entry for London!

Unfortunately, I didn't quite manage the 3:14:59, at my first attempt, and neither did I quite manage it when I ran Luton two months later.

However, what I did discover was that marathons were relatively easy to run in about 3:30, and I always felt really good within myself, pre, during and post marathon. Far better than sitting at home being a “couch potato”.

I then stumbled across the Marlborough Downs Challenge, at 33 miles, a little bit more challenging than 26.2 and being off road, far more fun!
Marlborough Downs turned out to be far more than a challenge. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. It was the first time that I think I really found me, the deep down me that likes to play hide and seek a lot.

My love of ultra running had begun.

Fast forward to 2011 and I find myself a well respected ultra runner. I have represented Scotland and Great Britain in World, European and Commonwealth Championships at 100k distance. I have even raced shoulder to shoulder with Liz Yelling in a one mile race – she won!

I have the most amazing training partners, five Siberian Huskies who have all contributed directly to my speed and my endurance. I have won races with and without them. Run from 5 minute miles to 12 hour events with them. I have run all distances from 1 mile to 50 miles with one particular dog. He is called Kez and is without a doubt the most awesome ultra running athlete I have ever known. He jogs while I try to keep up, he never complains and he is always up for a run, no matter what the time of day (or night) or whatever the weather.

I also have a very supportive partner in Ian, who is always there to offer me just what I need during a race, even if I do not know myself that I need it! He also takes some brilliant photographs, which enhance memories of each race.

During the most important race of my life in 2009, my ankle finally gave up and would not allow me to run. I did manage to get to the finish of that race, almost resorting to crawling at one point! The extreme pain and complete helplessness I felt during that race forced me to accept that I could not run another ultra until I had the operation that I had been trying to ignore.... Last year I finally agreed to have that operation to reconstruct the ligaments within my ankle.

In the weeks leading up to the 2011 Ridgeway Challenge, I had been seriously considering retiring from ultra running due to several factors, but the biggest one being my ankle. I will always have a problem with my ankle, and there will almost definitely be further surgical requirements, I am not yet ready to give up what I truly love, but my competitive days are nearing their end...