European Cani-cross Championships: Sunday

Sunday, mass start with all the European hounds and their humans, plus one husky in the corner, unsure of what was about to happen…  He trotted to the start line and stood watching all the hounds.  As they leapt round, screaming and lurching forward, Kroi stood and watched, with a look of amusement on his face….   He soon got bored with the hounds’ antics and turned to watch the spectators on the other side of the fence.  A toddler giggled and pointed at him, Kroi responded by squeezing his head through the fence and gently nuzzling the child.

Dogs lunged and snarled at Kroi, he stood and stared, gently grumbling under his breath, but never raising his voice above a whisper.  He walked away from these dogs as they tried to drag their human towards us.  Super chilled and very relaxed I knew I had made the correct choice – Kez would have been petrified, worried that every dog wanted to hurt him.  Kroi just laughed and refused to accept any offers of a  fight….

As we were called forward, 30 second warning, Kroi turned to watch the hounds again.  Their frantic barking had become louder and Kroi appeared to find this very entertaining without feeling the need to respond. 

The “gun” went and all the hounds bolted forward, several of them lunging at each other, humans desperately trying to pull them away.  Kroi remained rooted to the spot….

I pressed my stopwatch as he turned to look at me.  “On you go then” was all I said and off he went, well behind all the runners I watched in amazement at the complete lack of control the runners had over their dogs.  All they could do was flap their arms around and hang on for dear life as the hounds descended towards the woods at breakneck speed.

We ran towards the woods at a more sedate pace, me laughing at the weirdness of it all…

We over took the first runner after about 1 mile.  Unfortunately she was a runner that shouted constantly at her dog, which caused Kroi to become rather fearful.  He slowed down and ran beside me for a while.  None of our dogs respond well to loud or aggressive voices as they know that it means something bad has happened.  It is very rare for Ian or I to raise our voice.  We have noticed how negatively the dogs respond to even the slightest change of tone in our voice and therefore try to avoid doing this unless absolutely necessary.

I eventually convinced Kroi to run in front of me again, just as we turned away from the previous 3.4k course to run on the longer 6k course.  He hesitated as we pulled away from the route of the previous day, unsure of what now lay ahead…   He had never run on this route, whereas I had run along it about 1 hour prior to the race as part of my warm up/ recce of the route.

This is when it started getting very interesting….. I did not instruct Kroi which route to take through the mud and variable terrain, but he chose to follow almost identically in my footsteps from my earlier run.  Did I choose the “husky/ human friendly” route and he was now following it, was it a mere coincidence and he just happened to follow the same path, or was there unspoken words between us as we ran…..

We ran down a very steep section before immediately running up a very steep and muddy hill.  Kroi surged forward to help me up the hill and I tried to follow.  By now I was a little “out of puff” and struggled to run at speed up the hill.  Kroi slowed down as the steepest section and as I huffed and puffed he stepped of the course and “visited” a tree.  He glanced back at me as he did this, almost as if to tell me what exactly was on his mind….;-)

There then followed more mud before we entered a really fun, wooded section.  Lots of twisting turns and ups and downs, Kroi picked up the pace as we ran along the type of terrain that we encounter on a daily basis – exposed tree roots and rabbit holes, fun obstacles to tests our skills.  I did chuckle when I saw the padded trees.  Wads of foam had been strapped to some trees to protect runners that struggled to negotiate some of the bends.  I wonder if I should fit some permanent foam to areas of concern when I am out running early in the morning, just in case…;-)

As we re-joined the course from yesterday, I spotted Ian with camera poised, taking more of his brilliant photographs.  Kroi instantly recognised him, ears pricked towards him.  I reluctantly chose not to speak to Ian and asked Kroi to continue past.  Slight hesitancy, but he did obey and ran onwards towards the finish.

As we hit the final straight we picked up the pace a little, with a slight detour towards some people with cameras….  Did I mention the detours en-route every time we saw a camera?  Kroi really does get distracted by anyone with a camera and cannot help but run towards them….

Two races in one weekend and Kroi exceeded my expectations on both occasions.  He ran happy, I ran happy, mission accomplished.

This weekend we said goodbye to “Superbrat” and hello to “Superstar”.  Kroi and I will never win short distance cani-cross races when competing against hounds purposely bred for this job.  Kroi is a Siberian Husky, born and bred to run very long distances at a very controlled pace.  I will no longer try to make him something that he is not.   We will still have fun running in short races, but our hearts belong elsewhere.  I have been so impressed with his attitude and running this weekend that I am about to offer him a special opportunity…. It involves a very long run on The Ridgeway with his big brother….. :-)

(photo courtesy of tzruns)

European Cani-cross Championships: Saturday

It was a hard choice deciding which dog I ran with at the European Cani-cross Championships 2012.  In one corner there was Kez, my ultra-running companion that would run across the world with me, but does not “assist” unless I run at 5 minute mile pace….  In the other corner there was Kroi, a youngster that loves to pull, but does not yet know about pacing and very rarely runs on his own.  Kez is scared of other dogs and does not cope well in stressful situations, Kroi is not scared of other dogs and is showing all signs of being a very “chilled” dog.  This was the factor that made the decision for me.  I decided to take a chance and run the baby of the family, our only objective was to enjoy the occasion and finish both races content.

The race on Saturday composed of individual starts and was over a distance of 3.4k.  Kroi stood on the start line full of questions.  Where was Kez, who were all these dogs surrounding him, why did so many dogs growl and him and want to lunge at him…?  His eyes looked bewildered and he kept turning to look at me.  I calmly reassured him and waited for our start time. 

There were 30 seconds gaps between runners, and several very small dogs immediately in front of us.  I knew we would catch up with them relatively quickly and wondered how Kroi would manage the overtaking manoeuvre… 

We started well and headed down the start straight, into the woods, where we were met with very deep and treacherous mud.  Kroi picked the correct line and glanced behind to check that I was following.  We leapt from left to right, avoiding the worst sections.  We run off road every day, we know and understand how you run through mud.  With my trusty Salomon Speedcross on my feet, I knew that I did not have to worry about the land beneath my feet.

As we overtook the first dog, Kroi was a little naughty and tried to “have a wee go”, not aggressively, just a little jump over towards the other dog.  I shouted “No! On by” and off he went, the next dog we overtook he tentatively showed an interest in playing with, but “on by” was all it took to keep him running.  As we overtook one little dog, it darted under my feet and for a split second I feared that I was about to be up ended…..

Situation averted, back to running and we set off down the course…  confusion then arose as the course we recced the day before had suddenly changed… Kroi ducked under the tape and headed left, I stopped and re assessed the situation.  It would appear that we were supposed to go straight on.  I called Kroi to me and headed down the “new” course.  He hesitated but followed my command, just as a gigantic hound and his human runner came flying past.  Kroi picked up the pace and we set off in hot pursuit…….

I watched the dog and runner in front of us, it was obvious that the dog was totally in control.  She followed where he ran, arms flapping to help her balance.  As Kroi and I ran behind, I frequently chose a different route from the hound and his human and each time I did Kroi responded and followed my guidance.   We leapt from puddle to puddle, the other runner slid from side to side and tried desperately to stay upright.

As we approached the finishing straight, Kroi spotted Ian taking photographs and ran towards him, probably expecting to see the rest of the pack….  I tried to encourage him to go past, which he reluctantly finally agreed to do.  As we ran towards the finish, for the first time he ran behind me – confused and unsure of what was happening.  I slowed down and encouraged him towards me.  The dog must cross the line before the human in cani-cross races.  Kroi responded and jogged across the line, just in front of me.  We had just successfully completed our first ever solo race and in a time that put us in the "fast" first wave in Sunday's mass start....

(Photo courtesy of tzruns) 

European Cani-cross Championships 2012

On the eve of the 2012 European Cani-cross Championships, I remember why I am here and the journey to get here.

In 2010, I had a dream that a little rescued husky, saved from a non-existent future would prove just what you can achieve with love, trust and hard work.  I wanted to show that a dog so badly treated by humans could go on to prove that the impossible is possible….

We have arrived in 2012 and that little rescue husky is no longer with us.  Every day I think of him, and every day I miss him.  He taught me so much in such a short time, for which I am eternally grateful.

But the dream went back further than that…. Way back to the first ever cani-cross race in the UK, when I first realised the power of a husky and human team.  I ran that race with Kade, the dog that taught me how to run.  Through Kade I learned to love running for the love of running.  Running for no other reason than to feel the fresh air on my face, see the grass and the trees and smell the smells that exist in the Great British countryside.  He taught me how to pace myself and how to run for hours and hours, just because I could.

Kobi taught me about love and trust, and to race.  Kade taught me how to run.

Before Kobi I would always start conservatively in all races, choosing to lag at the back and pick up the pace from the half-way point.  This approach works well in ultra-running events, but not in dog running races.  In a cani-cross race, this approach will lose valuable time, overtaking slow runners and their dogs is very hazardous, not all dogs and people are under control.

Kobi helped me believe that the impossible was possible.  His enthusiasm and zest for racing others pushed him on and appeared to give him super doggy power.  His power helped me run faster and stronger.  Through running with him I dared to dream of things that would previously have always been out of my reach.  Before Kobi I did not know what it felt like to push myself so hard that I almost went unconscious.  To achieve sub 5 minute miles and keep on running…..  He was also the only husky I have ever met that would give so much of himself that he completely and utterly “blew up”!  Not just slowed down, but stop completely and drop the ground – Strathclyde parkrun in March 2011 was a brilliant example….

While other runners ran with *“bird dogs”, I ran with a little angel dog that spread his wings each time I asked for more.  He loved to please me, his big beaming smile and “whoo, whoos” would bring tears to my eyes.

So back to the dream, or rather, “back to the reality”…. 

Kobi and Kade no longer live amongst us.  They watch from above, forever in peace.  I think of them every day, of them and Kai, Friday and Zep and Meiko too.  Shed tears when no-one watches and yearn for the day when I see them again.  I think of them most days.  They all helped me be the runner that I am today.

Krofti, Kez and Kroi do still live amongst us, every day I get to run with them and every day I remember the love and trust that humans and huskies thrive upon.

After the loss of Kobi and the shattering of the dream, I decided that I would still run in the European Cani-cross championships and I would run in his memory.  I just had to choose which dog would be the best tribute to my little angel dog.

I have chosen Kroi.  At 16 months of age he is still a “baby”, so much to learn and a lifetime to learn it.  He is capable of competing with the best cani-cross dogs, but he lacks confidence and becomes scared without the protection of his big brother Kez.  Tomorrow and Sunday will be very challenging for him, but I will be with him every step of the way.  If he needs to stop, then stop we shall.  If he gets scared, I will run beside him and help him be brave.  We have a lifetime to race together, this weekend is just about having fun.

On Saturday Kroi will run in Kade’s racing colours and harness.  On Sunday he will run in Kobi’s harness and colours.  I will run with both Kobi and Kade in my heart.

I have one simple dream for this weekend.  It matters not if we finish first, or finish last.  I just want us both to finish with a smile upon our faces.

*”Bird dog” is the name given to the European dogs that are considered unbeatable in the cani-cross world.

Royal Parks Ultra 2012

The offer of a place in the inaugural Royal Parks Ultra from the fabulous people at Salomon, was an offer too tempting to resist.  Presented with a chance to run 50k through the parks of London city, and participate in a very special event.  The fact that the race was the weekend immediately before a very important race for me meant that my objective was purely to enjoy a very special longish distance training run.  It would also be an ideal opportunity to trial my new Rehband compression shorts, calf guards and arm sleeves.

The pre-race pack provided loads of information about the event, lots of SIS goodies, a fabulous event t-shirt and a pair of Salomon S-Lab socks.  I decided to save the race t-shirt until after the race but trial the new socks during the run – the perfect complement for my shoe of choice… the Salomon XR Mission.

Parking at Richmond railway station, I jumped on the train and headed to London, disembarking at South Kensington to walk the short distance to the race headquarters in Hyde Park.  I had chosen to not bring a drop bag as I wanted to avoid any queuing before and after the run – I should not have worried as the queues were minimal at both ends.  Anyway, my choice meant that all the clothes that I wore to the start would be packed away in my backpack that I would run all 50k with.  Sadly not a Salomon, instead it was my trusty Camelbak that had accompanied me all the way on my recent Ridgeway success.  Today’s bag would be packed full of food, phones, keys, money and my warm up clothes.

The run started in Hyde Park, and headed down towards Westminster before turning left along the Embankment and across Blackfriars Bridges, before picking up the Thames Path on the south side.  We ran the same route as the half marathon until part way down Embankment (just after passing the London Eye).  The ultra-race actually started 30 minutes after the half marathon, but even after that length of time we were overtaking runners within minutes of starting, ducking and diving around them, good slaloming practice!

As we ran through London I reminisced a lot about my time working there… It was only three years ago and yet it feels like a lifetime ago.  Fabulous memories, both good and bad…..

I felt very thirsty within a few miles of starting.  I regretted not carrying any water in my Camelbak, but looked forward to the water station at 5k that I had been told about….  Sadly I was misinformed and the feeding station did not appear until 10k.  However it was a brilliant feeding station, offering water, SIS juice, gels, bars and Percy Pigs.  However, I now know that Sandra and Percy Pigs are not a good combination….

After guzzling lots of SIS energy drink at the feeding station, I headed on my way towards the parks of London….  I was surprised that I seemed to be running on rather a lot of tarmac.  For some reason I had thought that running in parks would provide me with the opportunity to run on grass, trail and all the good stuff that is not tarmac…..

One of the consequences of running on so much tarmac - I love my XR Missions, but I was really feeling uncomfortable with the reduced cushioning that they offer in comparison with my Asics road shoes.  My ankle was complaining and I realised at the 6.5 miles point that my run today was going to be more challenging than I had thought.

I was also getting a little frustrated with the London locals and her visitors.  Dozens of dogs off leads coming too close for comfort, people on bikes meandered in front of runners and tourists stood and stared – packs of them crowding the path as we tried to negotiate a safe passage towards our destination, taking photographs, queuing for the attractions…

Don’t worry, politeness remained top priority at all times, even on those occasions when I really wanted to be grumpy!!

At 35k, I suddenly recognised Richmond Town Hall – the start of the Thames Path 100, my first ever experience of a 100 mile race.  The crowds in this area were exceptionally friendly and supportive, and I felt a lovely little buzz as I glided through….  And then I finally got to run across a large expanse of grass – my first ever run through Richmond Park.  Suddenly my Salomon XR Missions and I were where our hearts belong.  A mixture of terrain, gravel grass and even some mud we both came alive!  We even found a little hill….  One day we will return to enjoy even more of it, bringing with us some huskies to help us explore all the little paths that meander off the main route….

Speaking of the inspiring support around Richmond, I must also mention the amazing marshals that accompanied this race.  A phenomenally friendly and supportive group of people, they appeared at almost every corner or junction of the route, always smiling and offering compliments – thank you all!!

Upon exiting Richmond Park I started struggling again, ankle aching and worries about the affect my run today would have on my performance at next week’s race.  My right hip and lower back were sore from chaffing from my Camelbak and my hands were swelling as a result of dehydration.

But there were lots of positives…. Thanks to my new Salomon socks and the larger size of XR Missions, I was not suffering from blisters or any toe problems.  All my Rehband compression clothing felt very comfortable.  In particular I must compliment the Rehband shorts.  Not only are they extremely comfortable, they also do not hold moisture in the way that other brands of compression clothing does.  Very encouraging news for my future racing plans.  I also wore the compression tights for 14 hours after the run and awoke to fresh legs able to go running with huskies!

I loved running through Bushy Park.  For five years I have wanted to run a 5k in this park and thanks to Royal Parks Ultra I finally did!  What a lovely park, especially when I got to stop and video some rutting stags at 48.5k.  The temptation proved too much when I turned a corner and they were right in front of me!

The last 1.5k after my impromptu stag stop was easily the fastest of my run – had I continued that pace for another 3.5k I would have rivalled my parkrun PB….

I was particularly impressed with the finish marquee.  There was plentiful food, drinks (including beers) and seats for everyone.  Showers were available, as was a shuttle bus service to Teddington Station.  I felt brave enough to try eating a burger, I felt my body deserved some special attention after safely transporting my mind and her demons through the streets (and parks) of London.

The goody bag was also a delight to rummage through.  Crisps, bananas, mints, Salomon goodies, SIS treats and water bottle, and even some broad beans to plant in my garden.  The medal was an engraved wooden leaf – a very special memento.

I have found a perfect event for Ian to run next year, one which I would love to support him on – meet him in every park with our pack of huskies, by then we will hopefully have sussed out the best way to deal with off lead and out of control dogs….;-)

And for anyone that did not know… the eight Royal Parks are: Hyde Park, Kensington Gardens, Regent’s Park, St James’s Park, Bushy Park, Richmond Park and Greenwich Park.

http://www.royalparksultra.com/royal-parks-foundation/

(image courtesy of Royal Parks Foundation)

Dogs at parkrun: the inside story….

After last week’s tears of distress on the way home from parkrun, quite the opposite happened today.  More tears but this time they were tears of happiness….

There have been a lot of discussions lately relating to running parkrun with dogs.  Decisions have been made and it is time to move on.  However, I thought today that it would be a nice idea to share with others the advantage and disadvantage that a human runner has when running with a dog.  I think a lot of people have assumed that if they borrow one of my dogs then they are guaranteed a personal best time and will be running faster than they ever thought possible.  Whilst this may be possible, it is not quite that simple….

Firstly, when running attached to a dog, you have to be fully trusting of that dog.  You have to know how it will react to almost every situation and you have to be one step ahead.  A look to the left, flick of ear to the right… it could indicate that there is something out of sight that has their attention…

Today as we flew down the starting chute at parkrun, I knew that Kroi was in pursuit of “something”.  His body was tense and Kez frequently “bounced” him (Kez scolds his little brother by pouncing on him when he believes that he is being naughty).  At first I thought that Kroi was chasing Clive (who was on a bike desperately trying to get down the course and into position to take photographs of the runners), but Kroi has never previously been interested in chasing other runners or cyclists.  Then I wondered if it was just because the weather was a little cooler or was it because the herd of wild ponies were close by… 

As we approached the first left hand turn, my instinct was correct.  The herd of horses were galloping across the course heading towards the “onion smelling” factory!!  One straggler was panicking as it had been left behind by the herd and was in danger of being trapped in the gorse bushes.  I had to take action to avoid further panicking the poor pony.  I pulled the dogs off the course, which meant that Kroi suddenly decided that following the herd at full speed would be more fun than taking a detour and then re-joining the course….

This is where it gets a little scary.  For a split second, Kroi surged forward after the horses before Kez and I were able to turn him round and back onto the course.  Had I not been able to regain control so quickly, he would have gone into full flight after the horses, taking both Kez and I with him.  He can run at more than 30 miles per hour, I cannot and he is also infinitely stronger than me!

Back on the course, the dogs’ enthusiasm dropped and we were soon being caught by our fellow parkrunners.  A loose pack of dogs being walked on the common further slowed us down as I had to ensure we trotted safely through them.  We slalomed round them and started picking up the pace, only for a completely out of control dog to come charging across, barking and snarling at the two huskies.  They panicked and I panicked, fearing yet another vicious dog attack.  We slowed down again, checking to make sure we were not going to infringe any other runners.  As the aggressive dog launched itself at the boys I shouted at it and miraculously it pulled away and started heading back to its owner.  By now Kez and Kroi were down to “jogging” and I was able to hold a conversation with the leading male runner as he overtook me.

Feeling frustrated I decided to still push myself on, even if the dogs were no longer “assisting” me.  I could still have an okay run and get another step closer to my 100^th parkrun, no point in just giving up.

As we took the final turn, another off lead dog came charging across.  This time we stopped completely as it barged against my leg.  Had I continued running, I most definitely would have been tripped up and hurt badly on the gravel surface.

I managed to encourage the dogs to pick up the pace in the last half mile of the run, finishing strongly and pleased to see that it was Kroi encouraging Kez to run quicker – Kez has become rather lazy of late!!

Had I not been running with dogs today, I would not have been worried about stampeding ponies, I would not have had to take detours off the course, would not have been chased by off lead dogs and would not have had to stop three times…..  I am not complaining about any of this, I accept that when I run with dogs I am constrained as well as assisted - it is both challenging, and great fun!  Safety will always be my top priority.

I mentioned tears at the start of this story….

After I had finished the run, a man with an American accent approached me.  His first words to me were “you are an international inspiration”.  As I looked quizzically at him he expanded furthermore on his opening statement.  Visiting family in the area he had been on Greenham Common last weekend and had seen me running past with the huskies.  He had been so inspired by the sight that he had returned today in the hope that we would be there and he could get a photograph to send to his wife.  They live in Hollywood and have two Siberian Huskies.  He has now purchased harnesses for humans and huskies and is going to train them to run with him and his wife, and ski with them in the snow…

And there’s more…

A young boy, having just run parkrun, came over to speak to me.  He wanted to know if I had finished first.  I said no and he looked very disappointed.  I then went onto say that as usual, the huskies finished ahead of me!  He immediately started smiling and said that one day, when he was older he wanted to have a husky. He said that he would love to run as fast as me, but as I had run for Great Britain, he would never be that fast.  I told him that I had been practising for many years and that if he practised lots then he probably would one day be just as fast as me, if not faster.  His beaming smile told me that he understood….

I have a long standing dream to inspire a nation.  I myself was inspired by the Olympic motto to “inspire a generation”…..

Today I realised that I may well be living my own dream.  Warm feeling inside and happy tears free flowing, I made a vow today to do more.....

(image courtesy of tzruns.com) 

Some people should be banished into space...

Today I finally realised that there are some people that share the planet earth with us in body only, their minds live in a place where humanity, respect and common sense do not exist.

As I stood in the middle of a field today, holding a pheasant as he breathed his last breath, I wished that I could wave a magic wand and banish those people to a different world where others would not suffer as a consequence of their thoughtless behaviour and attitude....

The poor pheasant had been mauled by an out of control dog, off lead and charging around the farmers fields, no where in sight of it's owner.  The owner was meandering around without a care in the world as I tried to do a hill training session.  I politely mentioned to her that the farmer was perfectly entitled to shoot her dog.  Her response was to shrug her shoulders and say "oh well, I know that...he can if he wants".  As I stood mouth open aghast that she actually did not care if her dog got hurt, she continued to talk about how she was perfectly entitled to let her dog loose wherever she pleased and it could do whatever it wanted....

After she had gone I went to where I knew there were pheasant pens and I had seen the dog run towards.  Sure enough there was an injured bird that had been attacked.  As I held him in my arms, tears flowing down my face, I knew that my training session was over for the day.  Motivation drained from me just like the life blood of the poor little pheasant.

Earlier in the week I had been out running with Kroi.  I saw a large pointer dog come charging across the field, evil intention clearly planned.  I stopped dead and stood beside Kroi.  Sure enough the dog attacked Kroi without hesitation.  I intervened and ended up bitten as well.  By the time the dog's owner finally reached us I had resorted to punching the dog to stop him attacking Kroi.  It worked as he realised that he had a very angry human and husky to now contend with.  And the owner's response?  "Never done that before, I am sure he was just being playful"... Funny thing is, Kroi still has a puncture wound on his neck from the last time this dog attacked him when the owner's son was walking him...

Last week I was alerted to a cruelty case involving a Husky mum and her litter of pups.  I will spare you the details of the suffering that this poor mum and her young family had endured, but thanks to the heroic efforts of one vet, some of the pups may survive....  The mother did not make it.  A poor girl that had been "puppy farmed" for years and suffered severe abuse and neglect and gave her life to save her babies.  Someone owned this poor dog, they did this to her.

For four years I have run parkruns with my little team of huskies.  We have made every effort to integrate with fellow parkrunners at events up and down the UK.  Always respectful of other runners, always run in full control, safety paramount at all times.  I have run nearly 100 parkruns, made so many friends and earned the respect of a great many people.

My team of huskies and I are no longer welcome at parkrun.  Not because of anything that we have done, but because of the selfish and disrespectful behaviour of other dog runners.  Other people allowing their dogs to be out of control and a danger to themselves and others....

The sad thing is, all of the above have one thing in common.  Irresponsible dog owners.  People that do not deserve to own the wonderful creature that is a dog.  Perhaps a little harsh, but considering they are in charge of a living creature and also a potentially dangerous weapon it is very worrying indeed.

I do believe in second chances and learning from your mistakes, but sadly I do not think any of the above examples represent people capable of that.  Why?  Because they don't actually believe that they are doing anything wrong......

(image courtesy of cartoonspace images)

Falling out of love with The Ridgeway....?

A bad thing happened this weekend. I fell out of love with The Ridgeway.

Only one year ago the very same Ridgeway helped me remember who and what I am. I owe it a lot as it saved me from a path that I am glad I did not take. I am a runner who loves to run and savour every experience that running can bring. This weekend I did not love and I did not take pleasure in a gift that medical science and “experts” tried to deny me...

My preparation for the Ridgeway Challenge 2012 had been less than ideal, due to the stresses of work and life. I know most of the route like the back of my hand and have so many memories of different little sections of it, recc'ed at various times of night and day and with different people. I was also in better physical condition than I was when I ran it in 2011.

I had been very open about my intentions for running the Ridgeway this year. It was my one “proper” target of 2012 and I wanted to run it faster than any female before me had ever done so. Perhaps that was the start of my problems, sharing this with others and putting an unnecessary pressure upon myself.

The morning of the race itself was rather interesting and a very daunting affair.... from breakfast at the B&B to meeting all the other runners during registration... I was very aware that people seemed to know who I was and what I had done last year. Assumptions were made and I felt very uncomfortable that others appeared to be confident about what I would do during the race, and yet I was feeling very scared, doubtful of my ability and certainly not confident that I would even finish the race.

I will apologise in advance of my writings today... There were many people and friends that I spoke with before, during and after the race, but I do not have their permission to write their names and for that reason I will share my experiences with them, but they will remain nameless. They will know who they are and if they want their name to appear here, I will happily edit my original version :-)

Ian I can mention as he deserves as much accolade as possible. Without him I would not have started the race, I would not have run all the way to the finish, and I certainly would not have retained a title that I feel honoured to be bestowed.

I must also mention Anthony, the race director. Without him and his volunteers such an amazing and prestigious event could not happen. I am grateful that people like him and the wonderful TRA exist in this word.

I would love to mention all my sponsors, but worry that... Wow, hang on a minute, this is my writing, if I want to mention them I jolly well shall!!

Trion:Z (for humans and for huskies); Salomon; Rehband; Sunwise; 9Bar; Zensah.. without you all and your brilliant support, I would not be able to achieve what I do. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart :-)

And so, to the actual race, and it was a race, even though I try to pretend that it was just a personal running challenge....

Immediately before the start I received some wonderful news from a friend that was also running the race. I carried this news with me for the first few miles and it helped my fly over the ground as if I had wings....

I have never led a race from the start. I have a reputation for a very slow start and then a very strong finish. To be leading from the gun was an experience and a feeling alien to me.

The Chiltern hills from Ivinghoe Beacon are quite simply inspirational. There are occasions when one can feel just like a Red Kite as they run down the slopes.... arms spread wide, feet skipping across the terrain....

Wendover Woods (or is it Tring Woods) offer a different experience of beautiful paths down tree lined routes. For some reason, I always think of Winnie the Pooh when I run through these woods. I know not why as Hundred Acre Wood was in Hampshire... Today I ran through this wood thinking a lot of little Hebe and the imminent recital of a very special poem at her christening in almost exactly one day's time....

The first checkpoint is just before Wendover town. I did not stop long as I knew Ian would be nearby. However I did not know that he would be slightly distracted by a certain Sir Jackie Stewart out walking his dogs in Wendover Town ... I wonder if it is mere coincidence that he is also affectionately known as “the Flying Scot”...

After spotting Ian in Wendover, I headed off to ascend Coombe Hill, where I had planned to eat my croissant...

Running down off Coomb Hill I remembered my last run there, a little practise on the day after the Olympic Games opening ceremony. I felt so inspired on that day, remembering the music as the “next generation” circled the stadium on their way to light the Olympic Cauldron. I will forever and a day remember the music that played on that day, music that I had specially chosen to have on my MP3 player for later in the run when I needed inspiration.

From Wendover the Ridgeway continues to pass through the Chilterns, beautiful scenery available for those that choose to enjoy. As I ran towards Princes Risborough I had the delight of running on paths that Kez and I had previously shared during one of our runs. I missed him not being beside me, his phenomenal pacing skills and instinctive behaviour to always ensure that I am okay. Running beside me when I struggle, leading the way when I am strong. Today I mostly remembered - a technique I was to use for many miles of my solo running...

I remember not when the rain and thunderstorms started, I just remember that it was very wet, very loud and there were brilliant flashes in the sky. My feet were soaking and my ankle aching. The pre race hopes that I would forget about my ankle were crumbling around me. I will not dwell on the pain that I experienced in my ankle for the duration of the race. I have written about it many times before and to be completely blunt, there is not much that changes. I accept the condition that I have and I try to manage it as best I can. I have learned to manage pain and I will continue to make the most of the time as a runner that I have. One day it will end, and one day I will accept that.

I love the checkpoint at Swyncombe (just before the church) checkpoint 3 and hosted by some brilliant people. All drinks are “made to order”, a far cry from the grab and go approach at most races. It is things like this that make The Ridgeway Challenge so very special. Last year they “mothered” me as my world was falling apart (ankle stuff and just about to pull from the race), this year they carefully measure out my orange squash and let me scoff a lot of Pringles!

Upon leaving the checkpoint I knew Grim’s Ditch was fast approaching, my favourite part of the race, also one of the reasons off road running is so much fun.....

A chance to see Ian before my favourite section lifted my spirits, as did the Red Kites that chose to appear as I trudged through a harrowed field (or two)..... It was just before this point that I ended up running with a “Facebook” friend, meeting in person for the first time. We shared some stories, running and dogs.

Did I mention that I love Grim’s Ditch? A tricky section through an exposed tree root path, it twists and bends, keeping mind and feet very active. Quick thinking and my brilliant Salomon XR Missions saw me survive and thrive on this section – it was a different story last year when my Nimbus shoes and lack of confidence resulted in me turning both my ankles....

The next section of the route heads down to the side of the Thames. A flat section with some gates to negotiate and herds of cows and flocks of geese to pass through. There is also a little church yard that one must pass through, and yet again I felt rather uncomfortable, as if somehow I was being disrespectful.

I started getting excited as I felt really strong and I was just about to meet Ian. The plan was for us to rendezvous at the Perch & Pike pub in South Stoke, quick Guinness and change into my night time clothes. I had run out of food and drink long before the Thames, but I did not worry as I had guessed that South Stoke was only a short distance away....

The distance was much longer than I had thought and by the time I reached Ian I was already suffering the effect of very low blood sugar levels. The body was struggling, the mind drifting in and out of awareness. I reached him just in time. Demolition of Coca Cola, rapidly followed by the most delightful Guinness and I started to come round and be aware of what I needed to do. A change of clothes, a plea to Ian for proper food and I started to focus.

The most delightful plate of fish and chips, with mushy peas appeared just as I exited my personal “changing room”. Table manners thrown out of the window, I scoffed the feast as if it was my last on Earth. Over the next few hours I would be punished severely for my lack of manners and glutton like greed....

Suffice to say, I will never again each such a huge amount if I actually want to run. Enforced walking was not on my plan for the early section of the second half of the Ridgeway as I exited Streatley and headed towards Didcot!

And it was from this point forth, that nothing I did made any difference to my negative state of mind. For the brief moments I did not feel sick, I had to cope with pain in ankle, toes or back. Feet slipped from underneath me, I jumped from grassy ridge to grassy ridge trying to find the most solid ground.

Briefly seeing Kirsty helped lift my mind and remind me of the dream I had left behind, somewhere along Grim’s Ditch. Her offers of food were met with a resolute no.

I forgot how to smile and I forgot how to inspire myself. My earphones were broken, no music could lift me and my Camelbak tasted of soap. My toes hurt and I wanted my bed.

Just like Mr Ben, Ian kept appearing from the darkness, worried about me, checking to see that I was making onwards progress.

I was rude to him, grumpy to him and still he kept appearing! What would I do without his support.....?

My best friend for the full duration of the run was my Salomon XA cap. It sat comfortably upon my head protecting my eyes from torrential rain. It never swayed in the high winds or extreme downpours of rain, resolutely remained in place protecting me for all 87 miles...

I saw toads, mice and owls. I heard owls and other night time creatures. The best bit was the baby badger that came trotting towards me oblivious to the human he was about to bump into..... And when he suddenly realised, froze for a second and then scampered away, accompanied by little huffy puffy noises I had to fight the urge to go chasing after him! Kez and Kroi would never forgive me if I told them I refrained from chasing him!!

Yet as my mind crumbled inside, my body kept on going, refusing to give up. It was on autopilot and very much controlling me. As darkness surrounding me I tried to remember what was beyond the darkness. Didcot in the distance reminded me of Kirsty and her running club. Swindon in the far distance reminded me of magic roundabouts and shops.

I thought a lot of Kobi. Or more accurately I thought a lot about “Kobi's Legacy” and the dream that I will make happen.... I cried silent tears as I remembered his little face and “woo,woos”, how he taught me so much about patience and trust.

As I ran towards CP4 on Bury Down, my feet “wheel spun” on the wet muddy grass, I would run a few hundred yards, get frustrated and resign myself to walking for a while. My legs felt strong and wanted to run, but my mind was wondering off the Ridgeway. It was a total disconnect. I learned at this checkpoint about the huge fallout of runners from the race. It sounded like more were pulling out that running all the way to Avebury. This made me feel really sad.

The wide tracks on the route offered several options of where to run/ walk. I know from previous experience that the right hand side is better and yet for many miles I tried to force myself down the left hand side..... Jumping between grassy islands to try and avoid the flooded tracks.

As time dragged on, I stopped “hallucinating”... The large fish that had been flapping around in front of me, mocking me for being so greedy, swam away into the darkness... My belly no longer ached and I no longer believed I would lose my fish supper.... I was able to sip small quantities of Dioralyte and nibble on small pieces of food.

The rain had subsided and the stars were twinkling brightly in the night sky. I remembered the story of the little star that could not sparkle....

“The little Star tried so hard to make himself shine, he huffed and puffed and he smiled until his face hurt, but still he could not shine.
The wise big Star told him that he would only every shine outside when he learned how to shine from inside....

One day he had a race with his little friend, tried really hard and won the race. He was so happy and bursting with pride, but still he did not shine.

He made a drink for himself and before he could drink it, his friend finished the race. His friend collapsed as he finished, completely out of breath and very thirsty. The little Star offered his drink to his little friend, who swallowed it all in one gulp.

As the little Star walked back to his home to make another drink as he too was now very thirsty, he looked at his reflection in the moonlit pond.....

The little Star was shining, brightly and strong, radiant light reflecting off every part of the little Star........”

The next checkpoint (7) at Sparsholt Firs passed in a bit of a blur, but I instantly remembered the next part of the course very well. Having run it several times, I knew how close and yet how far home was.

Checkpoint (8) at Charlbury Hill is always the most glowing of all the checkpoints. I think it is where all the little Stars gather, disguised as people...

Their campfire is like a beacon on approach and their joyful enthusiasm “almost” contagious. I tried very hard to smile, but I think a grimace was all that came out....

Heading away from this checkpoint The Ridgeway drops down a stony trail and onto a road section for over one mile. It was at this point last year that I grew wings and flew most of the way home. Not today, all that I grew were horns!! Sorry Ian and the fellow runner that heard me say a bad word...

As I considered quitting, getting in the car and being driven to the finish I thought again about all my sponsors and the people that believe in me.  I mentally "wrote" myself a letter, apologising to them all for letting them down.  For being a fraud and unable to achieve.  I never got round to signing the letter as the "La, La" song appeared by magic in my mind......

I kept on seeing a head torch light come towards me, which was rather confusing as it would then turn around and go forwards... This kept happening almost all the way to Barbury Castle and it was only then that I realised it was a fellow runner not confident that he was on the correct trail!! He knew I was close behind and when my light kept coming, he knew he as on the correct path...

We ran together for a while, most of the way to the finish. It was the same runner that I spoke to as we ran through Grim's Ditch, many hours before. We shared a few stories of dogs, running and how good Salomon clothes are.

It was not until we ran through Barbury Castle (CP9) that I finally allowed myself to consider that I was the leading female in the race and would almost definitely retain my championship title.

As the realisation dawned upon me I started to feel inside me something that had left me many hours and many miles earlier. The realisation that I had actually achieved what I had dreamed of. My time may well be nearer 18 hours this year, but it mattered not as finishing had become my only target since South Stoke, about 44 miles earlier....

My legs picked up strength as we ran towards Marlborough Downs. (It is actually Fyfield Down, but I always think of Marlborough Downs Challenge at this point and remember my first ever ultra event...) Sadly my running companion was not comfortable running on the tough terrain in the last few miles, so I kept stopping and waiting for him as I feared he would miss the last turn off The Ridgeway, when the route heads into Avebury away from Overton Hill. I am not sure if it was his tiredness or choice of footwear, but his feet slipped from underneath him at one point. Thankfully he was able to continue running.

I stood waiting for him at the final turn and tried to will him to pick up the pace, fly down the hill to the finish. I finally looked at my watch and noticed that I was actually an hour faster than I thought! As I covered the last few hundred metres I realised that not only had I managed to finish, but I finished in the third fastest ever time. Only three ladies wining times have been sub17 hours – two of them belong to me.  I am also the first female to have won the UK Trail Ultra Running Championship more than once.

I was delighted to hear that fellow Winchester & District Athletic Club member Robin Houghton had won the race, also in the third fastest ever time.

So where do I go from here? Do I return next year to try for a third title and a sub 16 time? To be honest, I do not know.

I run because I love running. I run for the feeling of freedom, inspiration, happiness and so much more. My run on The Ridgeway this year did not give me that. It gave me pain, despair, frustration and made me grumpy.

I started this piece of writing by saying that “I fell out of love with The Ridgeway”. I now know that is not true. I disconnected with a dream, that is all.

I intend to run the full Ridgeway Trail with all of the Huskies Running team. Run it in a day, for fun and for “Kobi's Legacy”. I have a sneaky feeling that when I do, I will realise that in actual fact I am very much still in love with The Ridgeway, and who knows, I may even create a new dream for 2013....

*the "La, La" song is in fact the song that was played as the Olympic Flame entered the Olympic Stadium and the "future generation" lit the Olympic Cauldron.