I dream of fire... and fire comes to me...

Some dreams I willingly share, others I keep close to my heart...

Several years ago, when Kez was a puppy and I had only just moved to the village of Winterbourne Dauntsey, I had a dream....

It was one of those dreams where one awakens not quite sure where one is... was it a dream, or did it actually happen..

At the time I was going through a tough patch in life, one of those times when you question all that is happening around you. Question everything yet find no answers...

I dreamed a very special dream, where Kez had grown from a puppy into a phenomenal ultra running husky, known to many. He had changed from a rebellious nightmare of a teenage husky into a dog that was respected by many through his attitude and his behaviour.

We (the other huskies and I) were known for helping children, helping inspire them to run and to participate in sport...

Kez had become famous and was considered so inspirational that Lord Coe believed him worthy of Olympic recognition. He asked Kez (and I as his running companion) to carry the Olympic Torch to its destination in the Olympic Stadium just before the 2012 Olympic Games....

This dream was dreamed many years ago, well before I knew that there would be an Olympic Torch Relay, consisting of 8,000 people from the United Kingdom of Great Britain..

In June this year I became aware of the torch relay. Sue Hendry from Pets Health for Animals (Trion:Z for pets) had nominated me to carry the torch with Kobi, our little rescue husky, who has his very own inspirational story to tell....

On Thursday 8th December, I received an email that I still find hard to accept. The email contained the words "congratulations" and "successful", all relating to the torch relay. I also received a very special badge in the post, and a personal comment from one of the judges on the panel. All the evidence and facts point towards the unimaginable.... On 12th July, 2012 I will hold in my hands a most precious item. I will hold the Olympic Torch, alight, on fire and on its way to London. The flame that symbolises so much of what we as a modern society are in dange of losing..... When I hold it I will hold it for many people. Each and ever one of them will be with me, in my mind and in my heart.

Every day I hear of sadness in this world. What if I could turn this opportunity into happiness...? What if I could take this opportunity to promote something that could inspire a nation, inspire a great many people and raise a huge amount of money for charity??

P.S. for those that do not believe in dreams.... When I wrote my first book, I wrote of this dream. That was in 2008, yesterday I checked...:-)

(image courtesy of BBC Olympic page)

5"K"s running 5K

So why has it taken me so long to write about "the dream"....
I guess because the reality was that the actual experience was one of the most challenging things that I have ever done. The memory will remain with me forever, and I will remember the smiles, the exhileration and the fact that we ran as we live. We ran as a team, good times, bad times, fun times and some downright dangerous times.

Each dog ran as it lives, personality to the fore....

We started at the back, to ensure that we did not infringe any human runner. Kobi, who has been trained to run 5 minute miles at parkrun, to race against humans, did not understand why we were going so slowly. He did not understand why he was not running with the front runners, why he was not racing them to the first bend.

Kroi did not understand what he was being asked to do. At only 6 months of age, he is only a baby. He tried to copy his idol Kobi, pulling excessively and very powerfully. He does not yet know about working, about pacing and about control...

Kade remembers parkrun in some form... he tries to race forward, and then something holds himself back - it may be his fading eyesight or that he lives in a soundless world, or it may just be that his body cannot run as it used to. Whatever the reason, his preference when running with me is to run either directly in front of me, or just by my side, with as much contact as possible. His choice of position places me in a very precarious position as I am trying not to trip over him, whilst being pulled forward by two dogs that would like to break the sound barrier....

Kroft stays on my left and just behind me, the entire duration of the run. Never rushing, but never infringing or distracting me from what I am trying to do.

Kez remains the worker that he is. He stays on the right, running as quickly or as slowly as I ask him. I necklined him to both Kroi and Kobi during various parts of the run, merely to allow some level of control.

Sometimes I am lost for words as to how best describe Kez. A dog in a million does not do him justice. This dog is more than phenomenal, a dog that can at times read my mind, and when he cannot read my mind, he can read my body and reacts in the way that he thinks I need him best. Usually he is right.....

There were times during the run when I truely felt in heaven. I asked the dogs to run forward, and they all ran together in unison. Each dog running full stride and forward at quite some speed. We slowed as I asked, and we speeded up as I asked.... These are the memories that will live with me forever - complete unison and complete bliss.....

I will remember the poo stops, the geese distractions and the steep descents. But I wont remember them with the fear or the frustration that I felt at the time. I will merely remember them as the part of the integral reality of living and breathing a challenging dream....

I will also remember the honorary member of the "K" team. His name may well begin with the letter "I", but he was there all the way... The stress before the run, the stress during the run... He took photographs and he video'd the precise points where I would have chosen had I thought deeply about it. Without him, the memories would probably have involved tears, pain and lots of mud upon my face.....

My first ever experience of mud skiing.

Have you ever tried mud skiing? I have and didn’t even need any specialist ski equipment. The only problem was that I only managed to stay upright and on my feet for approximately ten seconds! Never mind, I am sure that the potential is there.

I hadn’t gone out the door that morning with the intention of trying a new extreme sport. I was simply going for a nice run, with the dogs for company.

It was a lovely spring morning, dry and bright, but underfoot conditions were a little hazardous on the off road sections due to excessive rain over the previous fortnight. As a result of the conditions, I made a spontaneous decision to take a slightly different route, one which I knew had a good solid track for most of its length. Plus it is nice to be adventurous every now and again and experience new scenery and interesting trails – for the dogs and myself.

And so the run commenced, with all four of us in joyous spirits as we merrily trotted along, down through the village and up towards the track. We ran along the track for about approximately one mile, when I noticed in the distance that there were some pig houses. For anyone not familiar with the habitat of free-range pigs, each female has its own enclosure with a little pig house to sleep in. These she-pig enclosures are divided up using electric fencing.

When I saw the pigs I must admit that I was not particularly concerned. The dogs have run past pigs on numerous occasions and had never previously shown an extreme hunting interest. Perhaps the dogs know that pigs are a formidable force to contend with. Or perhaps it is because pigs tend to just stand still and stare at passers-by and not run away (like sheep do), evoking the predator/ prey response, either way pigs are not normally a problem. I pulled the dogs close to me (just to be sure), and keeping a close eye on the movement of the sows, we continued down the track passing each enclosure.

Everything was going to plan, no problems and completely under control. We only had one sow and a large barn to pass and then there would be a hedge between the pigs and us. I didn’t even give the large barn a second thought, just assumed that it contained the weekly rations of straw and pig food. If only I had known then, what I learned that day…

Those large barns are the piglet nurseries. They are where the little baby pigs live, in huge herds probably in excess of 100.

As we ran alongside the barn, the little sleeping pigs awoke and started charging out as fast as their little trotters could move. Screaming in frenzied excitement.

The barn was situated about twelve feet back from the track we were on, with the entrance/ exit at the far side and electrical fencing forming a channel that all the pigs had to run down, parallel to the track, to access the main field.

As you can probably imagine, when the first piglet appeared the dogs went into hyper-drive. Little pigs, running and squealing on maximum level are a completely different prospect than full grown angry sows. All the piglets screamed in panic and surged towards the fence. Kai was already planning his menu for the day: bacon for breakfast; sausages for lunch; pork chops for dinner – yummee!

I tightened my grip on all of their leads and held on for dear life. No matter what, I was determined that no dog was getting anywhere near those pigs.

When Huskies are at full strength and absolutely determined it would take a phenomenally strong person to hold them back. Each dog is easily capable of pulling six times its own weight, and with me being a mere eight stones, all bets are off as to whom will win this battle of strength.

And so my mud skiing experience began, or to be more precise, pig pooh/ mud sliding experience, As the dogs edged forward I was pulled behind them in a rather inelegant fashion. I started to panic as I physically was not strong enough to hold them and urgently needed more resistance to stop them reaching the pigs. I threw myself onto the ground and started sinking into the pooh-mud, perhaps I could anchor myself into the sludge....

To no avail. Even flat on the floor the dogs continued to drag me, straight towards the electric fence.

Kade hit it first, screamed once and then was through to the other side, collar partially stuck on the wire. I managed to lock Krofti's lead to slow him down getting through to the other side.

And then I saw a lifeline....

A tree trunk was partially protruding from the mud, I reached if and wrapped leads and body around it. I just had to hold on for a few more minutes. Just until the last piglet had emerged.

I closed my eyes and prayed. I would not say that I was a religious person, but I prayed to someone and my prays were answered. The last piggy emerged and ran safely to the centre of the field.

I stayed down for a few minutes until the dogs had settled a little, stopped their screaming. I pulled myself from the mud/ pig pooh sludge and unwrapped Kade from the electric fence. The fence was completely destroyed, but at least no piglet life was lost. And.... I had no broken bones, just very bruised and battered and very,very smelly. I am sure as I looked across to all the pigs (very attentive audience, adults and all) that they were all laughing through their little piggy snouts.

It was several months until I was able to run past that field, even longer until I could pass the Farmer's house!! I wonder if he ever found out how his fence was destroyed. Maybe one day when I am famous..... I will confess!!

P.S. I must admit, I did buy sausages for the dog's dinner that evening!!
P.P.S. It did strengthen my desire to one day try proper skiing. Perhaps that could be classed as Dream Number 5....

Sometimes I get it wrong....

There exists a world where teleportation does not require a teleportation device. Wormholes can open and close in the blink of an eye....

I entered abruptly on day 1, thrown into a relentless river – fast slowing, torrential rapids. I tried to keep afloat, grabbing rocks and branches, anything to keep my head above water. But I kept getting swept further and further downstream. Dragged down from below and pushed from above.

I continued down this river for most of day 2. Sometimes able to gasp some breaths of air, mostly being smothered by the water, dragged further under and away from the surface. Away from life…

On day 3 I reached the sea. I saw no surface of this sea, only the dark murky depths of the ocean. I sank lower and lower into its depths. It was welcome relief when I finally reached the bottom.

On day 4 some magical force entered the ocean and caught me in its wake. It helped guide me to the surface of the ocean and the pushed me along to the sea-shores.

On day 5 I dragged my aching body from the ocean and took my first steps onto dry land. I started walking along the beaches.

On day 6 I started running. Running across the great deserts, the grass plains and through the forests and the moor lands.

On day 7 I will take to the sky. I will spread my wings and fly. Fly over the grasslands that I have run upon, over the beaches that I have walked upon. I will fly over the ocean that had once held me captive at the bottom, and over the raging, torrential river.

I will continue flying until I reached the foot of the mountains. This is where I will rest for a while.

One day I will climb these mountains. It might take a lifetime to reach the tops of these mountains. As long as it takes is as long as it will be....

I used to think that when I reached the top there would be someone waiting for me. Someone with whom I could totally be me, share me. And I share them. It would no longer be my world alone. It would be our world.

I got that wrong, I did not need to reach the top of that mountain to find that person. And even more amazingly along the way I found others that wanted to be a part of my world too. It is not my world alone, or to share with only one person.

And it is a world where magic really does exist and can be created by the mere use of words.....

The 5k dream... better than any time or position aspiration...

I am running out of time for one dream.... I dream of running a 5k race with all five huskies - the 5“K”s running together in a 5K.

The original plan was to achieve this dream run in celebration of Kez winning his 50th parkrun. I now fear that the extra weeks wait to reach this goal will prove too much for Kade.

Kade had another fit last weekend, his mind and body rapidly declining. He can still run, and indeed he loves to run, sometimes he seems to forget where he is in life and runs forward with such enthusiasm. At these times I remember him as the Kade of days gone by.

Next Saturday at Andover parkrun, I am going to make this dream happen..... Kade, Kroft, Kez, Kobi and Kroi will all join me on the start line of a 5k run.

There will be a 6th “K”, helping guide us round the course. Kai, forever present in my heart and mind, will be there. Without him, four of those dogs would not exist and I would not be the person that I am today.

I went for a practise run with all the “K”s this morning. It is certainly challenging to keep them running together as a team. The puppy and teenager wanting to race each other, the old boys wanting to doddle at the back and Kez happy to do whatever his “mum” wants!

When I run all the team together, they are so happy. Each dog fulfilling a different purpose within the team, some more productive than others! They are a pack, a very happy pack that loves to run and loves to be together. And I love the fact that I can give that to them.

It is going to be a very entertaining 3.1 mile run, a memory that I will treasure forever....

The humbling reality... when one thinks like a dog....

I had a wake up call yesterday. I struggled badly during a short race. Running 11k with dogs is normally a relatively easy run. I don't normally walk up hills and I don't normally end up close to tears running down hills. In fear of my life perhaps, but not an overwhelming fear of not being in control of two dogs securely attached to me. More importantly, I did not enjoy the run, did not enjoy my special time with Kez and Kobi, and it was that fact that “woke me up”...

For the purposes of this particular wake up call, I am choosing to ignore the fact that my body is presently fighting infection and I have two damaged ankles - those issues can be analysed later!

The plan was to run the first lap with Kez, and the second lap with both dogs. Dog runners had a two minute delayed start behind non dog runners and I knew that we would soon catch up and overtake most of the other runners. Kez confidently runs amongst other runners, weaving in and out as necessary, fully respective of every runner and will always run wide to ensure no contact. Kobi needs to practise his weaving a little more, and so I left him with Ian as Kez and I started the race.

I never start from the front, for some reason I always get to the start line and think there are many faster runners than us there and it is best if I respect them and stay behind. This then poses a few problems for Kez as he does not like to overtake other dogs. He has been attacked and lunged at on numerous occasions by dogs running with humans and now fears every dog will try to infringe him in some way. He waits until there is a huge gap and even then runs very wide and at full speed!!

Lesson 1: Next race, we start from the front!

The first lap went well, I was puffing more than normal, Kez's behaviour was impeccable. Fellow runners were very supportive, most complimenting Kez as he glided along while his runner huffed and puffed! Fantastic course, winding through glorious woodland littered with freshly fallen leaves – hiding a few tree roots, one had to be diligent where feet were placed.

Approaching the start of the second lap, I did consider stopping, it was hurting too much. However, I was keen to let Kobi have a run and thought that his enthusiasm would provide the energy that my body and mind were missing.....

Ian handed him to me and we were off.... almost immediately way off course and into the crowd. Whoops. Fortunately Kez soon guided Kobi back onto the racing route.

Lesson 2: Try and find some way to explain to a husky, how “relay running” for dogs is supposed to work!

Kobi has been absolutely amazing at recent parkrun events, racing them from the gun. On this day that was not happening, he was all over the place, jumping on Kez and running from side to side along the course. Speeding up every now and again, his pace was very erratic. Kez was obviously unsettled and kept on pulling over to the right hand side (his preferred racing route). This resulted in a constant battle between both dogs and me receiving no assistance whatsoever as all their pulling power was against each other.

I reminded myself of Kobi's background, tried to justify to myself that his behaviour was due to his upbringing and the fact that he was not from a “working” Siberian Husky blood line. “He wasn't a team player and could not run in partnership with another dog”,I thought. Running on his own he is fine, as long as canine support is nearby as he is still very fearful of most humans.

At no point during the race did I try and view the situation from his perspective....

The only human that he fully trusts and his best friend (and love rival) run away into the distance, leaving him behind with someone that he is still not 100% confident. He is then left somewhere that he has never been before surrounded by dozens of strange people and strange sights, sounds and smells. Humans shouting and probably scaring him unintentionally.

Suddenly I appear he is attached to both Kez and I and we dash off, without even stopping for a sniff from Kez, or a pat from me.

Poor little boy must have been so confused. He knows what to do at parkrun events because he has learned that they are safe and he knows what is expected of him.

Lesson 3: Treat the next race just like a parkrun, run from the start with both Kobi and Kez.

Lesson 4: Spend time allowing Kobi to become accustomed to a neckline and working in a team – he has not been trained as a sled dog the way our other huskies have, it does not mean that he cannot become one if shown what is expected.

Back to the race..... I decided to keep running as best we could, no reason to have DNF against my name. Kobi was fabulous on the up hill sections, speeding up immediately on command, but on the down hills he would not listen to me. I was forever shouting “steady, steady” each time getting louder and more desperate as he refused to listen. He did slow down, but was still pulling on the precarious descents of some sections of the route. I feared for my ankles and worried that soon I would be the laughing stock of fellow runners as I went head over heels....

I even tried pleading with Kobi, my voice getting desperate “please Kobi, will you please stay close!!” And suddenly he stopped, as did Kez and both actually turned their heads around and looked at me... They then proceeded down the hill in a very controlled and comfortable way. Did they finally understand my “plea”s...? Did they know I was in danger...?

No, the reality was that I had finally used the very words that they are trained to respond to. “Stay close” is what I use when I want them to stop pulling completely, i.e. come to heel. I use “steady” when I just want a little ease up on pulling power. It took me until almost the last hill to realise what I was doing wrong!! When I run Kez on his own, he knows what is required of him and I have taken this for granted during all our races together. Yesterday's race was the first time I had run Kobi on a hilly course requiring composure, poor little boy was only doing what I had trained him to do, he didn't understand why I was getting so upset.

Lesson 5: always remember the hours of training. The precise words and phrases used every day. If they don't respond, immediately ask why not, whilst remembering that squirrels will always overrule any human relayed instruction!!

We got to the finish of the 11k, huskies with beaming smiles across their faces, me in a grump because I decided not run another 5k (there was a16k distance option), which was definitely the correct decision!

I learned some very valuable lessons during this race, lessons I am already learning from and put into practise today. I am also changing all our training – “all” being me, and five huskies. We all have different goals, objectives and needs. The huskies' basic needs are top priority, it just so happens that I can combine them to help me meet my objectives, or rather, help me achieve my dreams.

Tribute to the original king of canicross....

I first met Kade the day he entered this world. Months of planning and preparation, he was the first born son of Kai. Nearly 13 years later, and after a lifetime of amazing experiences, I know that our time together is almost at its end.

I want to speak of him, and his life, whilst I can still touch him and cuddle him, a constant reminder of the amazing dog that he is.

I thought he was leaving me this morning, but he is still here and I am more than happy for him to break the rules and sleep on our bed as I reminisce...

I remember exactly where I was when I received the telephone call announcing his arrival. A little black and white puppy, destined to share our lives. Named after his father, “Wildenfree Blues KaisKade” he arrived on 30th January 1999.

When he was of age to leave his mum, Kai took on his paternal role and protected his little boy throughout their lives together. If Kade cried or was upset, Kai was instantly by his side, reassuring him. The bond between them was amazing and when it was cruelly broken in 2009, Kade mourned his loss as much as me. It was heart wrenching to hear his mournful howls in the early morning. We cried together and did our best to continue in a life with a huge void.

Kade has always been a very particular dog, with quirky little habbits. Selecting toys and placing them into different little piles, removing food from his bowl and rearranging it on the floor to then choose what he wanted to eat first. One time he carefully selected all the biscuits in his bowl, eating around the chunks of cheese that I had placed there. Thinking that he did not like the cheese, I removed it and gave it to Kai, much to Kade's surprise – I later discovered that this little dog actually preferred to save his favourite foods until last!

Kade as a youngster was a never ending ball of energy. The dog that never slept, he was always doing something. A very active mind and body, he was easily the most intelligent of all the huskies I have shared my life with. I would test him with little problems and be amazed to see him actually thinking out a solution. He was also a phenomenal hunter and Hampshire's mouse and rat population was controlled in a ruthless manner....

Growing up around horses, he had full respect for them. I would take Kai with me when out hacking and Kade would wait behind at the stables, playing with the little Falabella Stallion. He would also play with Friday my Welsh x Arab. He would chase Friday and then Friday would turn round and chase him – it was fabulous to watch their high speed chases! When Friday passed onto the next world, he took on the role of playmate for Brego, the baby Spanish Purebred, although Brego was not quite as keen to share his sugarbeet!

In my days of Husky racing (on wheeled rigs) he excelled himself, when at only nine months of age, he led a three dog team round his first ever “R” class at an ABSA event. He continued this when he was old enough to compete in the proper racing classes. We were never super fast as a sled dog team, but we did sneak a few wins on technical courses!

With Kade at the front of the team, I would confidently hitch up six huskies to the front of my mountain bike, knowing that I could trust him 100%.

He has taught all the other huskies how to lead from the front. When to take turns, speed up, overtake and ignore distractions. Numerous dogs have been hitched up to Kade on rig, bike and human – each time Kade showing the other dog what is required.

When the UK discovered the sport of Canicross, Kade and I were already prepared. Having run thousands of miles together, we took to racing like a duck takes to water.

We ran most Canix races in the early days, Kade earning a reputation which many original UK canicrossers still remember to this day...

He also managed a once in a lifetime opportunity to travel to Belgium for the 2010 European Canicross Championships. Running with Ian, he led the way round the course, smiles upon both their faces. Ian perhaps having to work a little harder as Kade was determined to enjoy rather than race!

We started running parkruns to help Kez and I – both of us become anxious running around other dogs and people. Kade would help guide us round parkruns, controlling the puppy enthusiasm of Kez and ensuring we got the most from our speed training sessions!

Kade no longer cares for the speed session element of running, and prefers to trot around with children – both husky and child with big beaming smiles upon their faces.

He also helped Kobi (our rescue puppy) during his early days of parkrunning. Guided him round people, helped teach him that not all humans are bad and that it can be fun running with them. Kobi took it a little further and now believes that he has to beat all humans when racing them!

Kez, Kobi and I would never have been so successful had it not been for Kade. He helped me become an international athlete, triumphing against the odds. It almost seems fitting that he will probably leave me in the year that I retire. He has done his job very well and I am so proud of him.

His body is now struggling, but his desire to run remains. He jogs for a little bit and then stops, then suddenly he will dash forward as if remembering what he used to do – he becomes a puppy again and for a few seconds I can smile and dream that we are not where we are.

It was not only in the world of running that Kade excelled. In a past life we used to show very successfully. He won numerous awards including two Challenge Certificates, Reserve Best in Show and well as Best Puppy in Show at many open events. A part of me wishes that I had continued the quest for the third CC, but in my heart he will always be a Champion and that is what really matters.

Whatever happens between now and October 2012, Kade will be with me when I run in the European Canicross Championships. His physical strength will not be helping guide me round the course, but his legacy will be and his spirit will be with me all the way round. If I achieve the dream, I will have achieved it through him.

And when I hang up my racing trainers for good next year, I will hang Kade's collar beside them.